I Finally Understand

                 We’re lying on my bed, my head on your stomach, your hand in my hair. We have our eyes closed, just listening to the simple sounds of life in the rest of the house below us. The sun is setting. The room gets steadily darker. Long shadows start to appear around us.

                “You know what I don’t understand?” I ask quietly finally opening my eyes to see the shadows.

                “What?” you ask twirling a piece of my hair in you fingers

                “Inspiration”

                “Why is that?” you ask opening your eyes and looking down at me.

                “I’m not sure.” I reply even more quietly. Its so typical of me to not understand why I don’t understand things. I either do or don’t without explanation.

                You fall silent and move you hand to mine. I take it gently and close my eyes again, slowly.

                I finally understand.

Reviews

[Ben Walton]

This is really good, but you really need to make it longer. What i would do personally is put the first paragraph after "I either do or don't without explanation." and give vivid detail as to what's happening. if this isn't true, make s**t up. if it is, put down everything you remember. talk about what you can without sounding redundant. Then after that, put the "you fall silent..." until the end. I don't know what you should call it, maybe the deeper explanation will give you an idea.

just a suggestion.

[fgsgdsf]

This was brilliant Cortney. I think you should make it a smidge longer though.
Other than that, Im in love with it! (I'm a sucker for romantic things,hah)

[Brian]

Wonderful heartbeats.. without words.

[Ryan Gilroy]

The greatest idea wasn't created from anything, but a collection of other ideas that were spun from someone else's tapestry of thought, emotion, wisdom and truly unconventional wisdom and that's where the greatest understanding of this world. Everything builds off of one block of the puzzle of life, and made to spur on something else and made something even more unique, and yet your prose piece shows a brillant concise version of how language is supposed to be used. It appears that if this were to be spurred on by a real life event, or a fictional man-made creation but either way it shows so much without showing anything at all.

[ashley]

I really like this. Even if it's short, it's still really great. The imagery of the sun and shadows is nice because it showed the passing time and I liked that.

I would recommend making it longer especially if it is fiction because you can do whatever you want with fiction. However, if you choose not to, it's still really good.

[Jonathan Bryant Dean]

I personally do not feel that a story should be bound to a certain number of words, or expected to be expanded to meet a certain number of words.

Your economy of words in this story is to be admired, in that the story is complete, it needs no further explanation.

There is one thing that I noticed, and that is that the word "you" would be better served if replaced with the word "your" in the following line:
"You fall silent and move you hand to mine."

That is my only suggestion, other than that, this is a good write.
JBD