The Pyramid Scheme

Tales from a simpler time

So I'm going to have a little throwback here to one of the few memories I have of the first grade, or maybe it was second grade I was a part of a half-assed pyramid scheme. Like it sounds weird and I'm not entirely clear about what it was even to this day but here's what happened.

I was sitting on the bus like the sweet little dud of a child I was, and soon after the bus left for school, me and the kid I was sitting next to got approached by an another kid who was older than me, or maybe just bigger. Well so this kid told us about how he was trying to raise money for charity by selling thing-a-magiges, or some crazy name like that, and he was looking for people to help sell them, which he explained was part of a larger scheme to get a new bike. So being the all around naïve child I was, I took him up on this offer agreed cause, of course, this money will go to a great cause. He then showed us what we would be selling, and they were just Popsicle sticks with some pipe cleaner on them, really meager craftsmanship as well, but we were selling them for 3$ which to the small child living in the well off Ohio suburb I lived in didn’t seem like much.

Well, so I went through the whole day trying to sell these god awful contraptions to random people. The worst was when I tried to sell it to my teacher, cause she didn't like me and I was real nervous, so I went up and explained how I was raising money for charity and how she should buy one, she was the only person who bought the thing-a-magiges. There wasn't even hesitation in her eyes she just pulled out 3 bucks and took a thing-a-magiges. I think it was the only time I talked one on one with her. So the day ended and on the bus I realized I didn't know the kid I was working for’s name, or the other kid selling, or what either of them actually looked like. I was a dumbass as a child, so I kept the money and the rest of the supply (about 4 thing-a-magiges).

I never ran into them ever again, I never learned if the money that was raised got to charity or if the kid got his new bike. I do know that I spent the 3 dollars I kept on some candy at a CVS a week later, so I guess there are some positives to this story. But really what was the point to this, I didn't learn a lesson, you didn't learn one by reading this, it wasn't an amusing story, it was more like something that Lives only in the mind, so no one actually gained. Except I just can't shake this story, of all the things that happened to me this one shines above most so take that as you will, and I'll take this one as I have.

Though I guess most people's childhoods are like that a string of just odd memory's and some vague thoughts on how the overall picture is. What we remember doesn't even seem to be important in most cases, with what should be the important stuff just forgotten. Like why can I Remember throwing out a sandwich cut in the shape of a dinosaur my mother made for me in kindergarten cause it didn't taste exactly how I wanted it to, but I can't actually remember any of my kindergarten graduation. That's not actually true though I do have some memory of it. I remember that we all wore different colored gowns and that there was this great open hallway, I later realized that was just the picture on my parent's credit card that I had for some reason taken in as my kindergarten graduation.

I guess a theme in what I remember are the things I regret because I sure as hell have some issues with me throwing out that sandwich. And that's a s****y way to remember things; some of my happiest moments are just blurs at this point with the sadder stuff sticking on me like a brand. But that puts the first story in slightly more context; it shows that one time I did a s****y thing that I won't let go.

Well, I've gone on a slight bit of self-discovery but in truth, there's got to be some point for you to be reading this poorly worded blabbering... And I got nothing for ya on that front, so sorry for adding a regret to your life. But I guess if you're like me in how your memory works you will remember this and isn't that the goal of a writer to make something memorable writing for the audience.