Chapter 5 Breakfast of Champions and French Jazz

"Why can't people have what they want? The things were all there to content everybody; yet everybody has the wrong thing." Ford Madox Ford

Breakfast of Champions and Also French Jazz Music

He had to be in the lab early that morning to set up an experiment. So I received a message at 830 asking if it could turn the breakfast he’s missed into a brunch. At 1030 I received a message asking letting me know that he was putting coffee on and was thereby ready to put up with me. I drove over to his house, his parents exotically coloured German Shepard Leo, who was sating with him while his parents vacationed in Mexico, barked at me at the door. I wasn't afraid, but the fact that his dog didn't really like me was sad. He ran rings around the house.

“What do you want for breakfast? I can make muesli, its totally uncomplicated but sounds really fancy.”

“How about you make whatever you want and then I’ll judge you accordingly”

He made a fantastic breakfast. Unfortunately I spilled half of it on the floor. 

I was looking at his family pictures on the fridge and he came over to wrap his arms around me, he kissed me on the cheek. 

We were standing by his sink. This was never going anywhere.

He made fun of my child hands.

We talked about the best movies.

We quoted Oscar Wilde.

He told me about all the girls he had  dated.

We talked about how romantic this was.

He dipped me and said he wouldn’t let me up until I kissed him.

We danced to french jazz music, but we had to stop because it was too cute.

I was still swaying as we were standing in the kitchen.

“Are you still trying to dance with me?”

“No. I have rhythm in my soul, it has nothing to do with you.” My eyebrows furrowed and I squinted up at him through half smiling pursed lips. “Have I told you my mantra?”

“You have a mantra?”

“Yeah, I picked the correct objects on the blanket, they said I have to have one.”

“Alright then, what is it?”

“The expectations we have on other say more about us than they do about the people we have them on. People aren’t inherently bad or good, what we are is selfish. The challenge is rising against that.”

“Thats something” and we stood in silence for a few minutes, talking had become superfluous to the way, at least, I felt. 

It was 11:50 and nearly time for me to leave, we could both feel it. He leaned on the beige couch nearest the door and pulled me close. 

“What do you want from me?” I whispered to him. I knew deep down that this couldn't possibly be going anywhere.

“What do you want?” His mouth twisted in an unpracticed half-smile, but he sounded serious now. 

“I don’t know.” So I kissed him. Because it was all too perfect and all too damned, our short minutes together ticking away audible from the clock in the dining room. We stood there for a few moments, only in embrace, at the bottom of an hour glass. The sand timely filling the space around us until it felt like pressure on my chest. I had to leave. Turning, I clumsily slipped on my shoes, caching the wall briefly for balance. I could feel him hesitate behind me. Then his arms were around my shoulders. In my ear he half spoke- half whispered:

“How was that for a date”

“It was a good first date”

“A great first date and last if I do say so myself”

“Don’t get cocky. I guess it has to be the last, this is ridiculous” 

“I’ll see you.”

I walked out the door and did my damnedest not to look back at him.