Feminism and Sex Economics

Satire.

You see it everywhere you look—The Man, The Big Cheese, The King—it seems as if in all our years, we females have not yet achieved what our masculine counterparts have achieved. Men seem to be in high places, and as soon as a woman tries to do the same, she is clawed apart by everyone and their mother.

 

Seriously.

 

I, for example, was raised by a pseudo-feminist mom who always talked about men like they were the scum between our toes, but then turned around and served my dad dinner first, made sure he was completely comfortable at all times, and made me wash dishes instead of any of my siblings because I was, and unfortunately still am, “a girl.”

 

However, even in the wake of a seemingly useless fight against sexism, many of we “girls” have found a way to use our “weakness and fragility” to our advantage. Picture this: a poor, defenseless girl finds herself at a bar with nothing but a gentle smile and a graciously curvy body. It’s almost certain that despite her lack of cash, she’ll walk out of that bar with at least a .04 breathalyzer reading brought to her by a big-hearted, generous gentleman.

 

A moderate number of people would more than likely see this girl as the gentleman’s prey, but in reality the young woman has gained more than she has lost. Think about it: fifteen minutes of friendly chatting for 2+ drinks usually running about $5 each. If this was her job, assuming a steady forty hour work week and fifty-two weeks in a given year, she’d be making $83,200. Not bad for a job that only requires a vagina.

 

Moreover, there is no rule that guarantees our masculine friends a night of passion and/or naughty fun if they buy a woman a drink. Men know, as well as I do, that seeking out a woman is like investing in a stock—you could get lucky just as easily as you could lose everything.

 

So, keeping the stock scenario in mind, I’m brought to my next point: the concept of sex economics. In sex economics our love lives are all interrelated to each other in what is called “the marketplace.” In this “marketplace,” the female sexuality is given value while the male sexuality receives none. In other words, women are the sellers of sex and men, the buyers. Of course, since the male sexuality has no value, men must “pay” for the female sexuality by other means such as, but not limited to, dinner, clothing, cars, and (best for last) engagement rings.

 

Now imagine this invisible market is like any other economy where the price, p, is driven up or down by supply and demand. In this case, supply refers to female sexuality and demand is male demand for it. If you know how economics work, you’ll immediately know that when the supply is higher than the demand, the prices go down. Inversely, when the demand is higher than the supply, the prices go up.

 

Now where am I going with this?

 

My proposal is quite simple—Ladies, it’s time that we unite and drive those prices up high. Think about it: women holding out for more would bring us nothing other than MORE! It’s not about “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” It’s all about “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

 

Why go to school when we could go to spas, salons, and malls? Why waste our time trying to break the glass ceiling when we could take lower positions with double the rewards and half the work? Why bother going to work at all if we could stay at home and do whatever we want all day?

 

Truly consider this, ladies. We don’t want to waste anymore time fighting for our rights in society. Personal independence will only get us so far.

Author's Note

Please remember this is satire.

Reviews

[Here's What I Say]

TRUE satire. Using the farthest logical extreme to prove the opposite. No, I was not offended; because I actually didn't listen to the satirical advice, I proved that having brains, despite my failure to "break the glass ceiling" kept me from flying off the handle and losing control of my emotions; no guy is gonna buy a drink for a bitchy female. Of course it doesn't apply to me; I hate alcohol.

Well-written, very thoughtful and clever. It IS true that sexuality is sold (although I do disagree because male sexuality can be sold too; but who buys into it more?) and there is a LOT of money raked in from it. I wonder if men would figure it out if we really tried that.

[Kelley]

You must be a economics annalist for wall street??? ......smiles
I have thought about this myself.....you may think this is strange
being a man , but I have lol
The bar scene has always made me think....."Must be nice to be a woman"
Never buying a drink and can have sex with anyone they want....lol
Over all this was a great write Althea!
Power to the woman!
Thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[bluessadmood]

that was nice and you know very sad ,i am so with you on this,but as a man i am afraid my partners ,males,will get mad at me ,ha ha,off course dear you are very right,women has to use everything she has to get promoted and its very humiliating ,
i really do not know how things got this was ,for things just added up untill its the way now,it must have been all along the ages,how did it come so far ,very strange
yes the demand on commodities women have,as they say curves ,how funny ,that i am not allowed some work or some benefits unless i share these curves with my employee,how very stupid
i will say it in low voice,as i said it before i am with you 100 percent ,you can count on me ,ha ha ,i think my friends ,men will get mad,but i really do not see it fair the way woman are treated,this is wrong very wrong,we are just the same ,maybe she is even better...

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

I loved this, royally, love love love. I'm always happy when I find someone who has that tinge of feminism in them. I'm often mocked for it, so it's a relief. The use of algebraic-like figures in your description of the problem was powerful and really gave this some umph.