For Once It Wasn't.

"Tis a good night.

Listen clearly, look clearly into the dark oblivion,
Rift through the wordless conversations, shift through the featureless faces,
Dig deeper, look beyond the fog setting in, do what you must.

Set your shovel down, it's weighing you down, taking your spirits with it,
Did you actually see the stars or did you imagine it? Twinkling oh so bright!
Pull your coat closer, breathe out, you can see your breath, it's a magical time to be alive.

Walking on the soft grass, humming along the soft tunes of the birds,
You feel a sensation sweep over you that you've seldom felt, the longing for peace finally achieved,
The longing you have felt for oh so long, has finally settled, finally opening up your mind to other opportunities.

You hear some rustling from a little distance, thinking someone caught you sneaking out, you turn around,
Looking up to the intruder; slightly irritated you scowl but when you see the face, it's blank,
A blank face staring back at you, yet providing a sense of security, you ponder on who it could be.

Whilst pondering, you suddenly open your eyes and see the shift happen,
It is still night time, stars are twinkling oh so bright, but you pull your blanket around yourself tighter, grasping on to the warmth it provides,
You blow out a breath, feeling content for once, for it wasn't a nightmare after so many disturbed sleeps, you close your eyes again, going off to your land.


-Simran Kewlani.
20th August, 2017

Author's Note

Criticize if required.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A wonderful poem shared. You wrote with a experience pen. Made the reader feel and understand your words. Thank you Simran for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Cherrie Palmer]

A blank face staring back at you yet providing security ... you have really created something special with this. I'm so glad I found it.

[Richard McLin]

Loved it. No real criticism. My only thing might be is that to me it read more like a fantastic short story than a poem, but then most of mine do to. I think it's a great piece. Your word flow, pace, and beautiful descriptions, I think it's really good. I look forward to reading more of your pieces.
-Richard

[emmajoy]

.. Pull your coat closer, breathe out, you can see your breath, it's a magical time to be alive.. '

No criticism here... you have done what i love to do.. used the dark to feel every sense, every iota of SELF natural. The noise and messiness of daytime can so easily distract a person's natural instincts.. meanings.. emotions. Real noise drowns the trickle of streams, the rush of tide on shore... the dirt of vivid neon colour and glitz to make the cheap seem more worthy blinds us to seeing white daisies and buds about to bloom.. and more.. and more... (Sorry this is a review for YOUR words.. not mine.)

Sometimes, the night seems ready to frighten, to display what the mind dictates.. Tis best to shake head a little.. relax... blow out a breath.. and see what your heart tells... ... The heart is the best guide of all... perhaps.

Wonderful post, cohesive thoughts that nonetheless wander night colours... cleverly.

[Einstein Noodle]

kind of a mystical journey you are taking us on ..or so it seems to me .. i appreciate your title and closing lines like book ends .. it brings my focus back into some perspective .. the gratitude your protagonist has for not having a nightmare disrupt sleep ..which can be a very big deal, in my opinion ... i am not sure about your use of the word "rift" in the context of the line ?? i had no trouble getting into the scene of the night, the stars and smells and sounds etc. as i was out with my dogs very early this morning .. it was still dark .. and as the dogs went about their business i had time (as i do every morning during this ritual) to enjoy the moment of the sky, forest and orchestration taking place ... having an empty head is kind of normal for me these days .. so it fills up easily with what is around me ;} i hope your sleep is bliss filled and refreshing always Simran :)
E.

[Simran Kewlani]

The use of 'rift' in the reference above is intended to point out the broken or discontinuous conversations the protagonist was taking part it.
Thank you, it was meant to be a mystical journey.
I am not a fan of descriptive essays or stories, but I like incorporating descriptions in my poems so as to give life to the words. I think, it's more real and less of a drag if you can imagine what you're reading.
Thank you,E. Sleep is just not as it is supposed to be, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahh yes ..perhaps a comma after Rift ? to isolate it ... :) ..

[Simran Kewlani]

Why do you so say so? It sounds weird to take a pause after rift.
Tell me your views

[Einstein Noodle]

i think the syntax is stretched .. rift is a noun (i am sure you know) meaning a split in relationships ..or argument ..something of that nature..or a verb ... that refers to fissures in the earth's crust .. to "rift through.." doesn't make sense to me...maybe sift through??? ... perhaps it is just me as well ;) we do have our "poetic licence" :)))))