Addiction

01

he’s high on a shelf,

dusty and snowblind,

forgetting and forgotten,

rained on and drenched

by the perpetual showers

of dust and memories.

he remembers

like a fleeting pain,

before his eyes are dulled again.

 

02

the hourglass is fixed,

it resists all his attempts to

turn over a new leaf.

he can only stare in horror

as the grains click one by one,

into the ruined future

of his ruined life.

 

03

he’s just gotten his paycheck,

so he’ll cash in

and break that mistake

into ten consequences.

‘cause mistakes are the new currency

of his new life

and he’s hit the payload.

 

04

‘you’re not that far gone,’

and there’s hope in her eyes.

she wants him to believe

as much as she does

that it really can work out.

 

the laugh is bitter as he says

‘i can do it right this time.

i’ll ruin my life so i can’t fix it.

‘cause the past was just practice,

and the future won’t know what hit it.’

Author's Note

true.

Reviews

[Gilad Levanon]

Heavy. Excellently written, skilfully delivered description of the condition of the addict - the seemingly impossible-to-escape ditch that addiction is. I have known this feeling and this poem is a healthy reminder to avoid making the kinds of mistakes that you talk about, the kinds of mistakes that would lead me back into the state you describe with this piece. So thank you for that and well done on a powerful poem. I must only comment on the helpless feeling of the poem, empty of hope, empty of a possibility to change. I understand that the poem delivers an expression of what it is like to be trapped in an addiction, but I believe that it is a misguided expression if it leaves no window for change because, as I have proven to myself, there is always a possibility, there is always a sliver of hope that can be grasped at any moment and transformed into transformation. Sorry, I'm rambling, but this poem speaks of an issue so close to me that I feel obligated to express a little optimism after having read it.