Drip

believe the word―i will unlock my door and pass the cemetery gates.

Drip-drip. She was always running―stuck like a mouse on a wheel―and he was always there, knife in hand, satanic, feral smile fixed on his face. He played a sick game, a sick, ironic, cat-and-mouse game. She played, not knowing why he chose her, only knowing that if she stopped running, her heart would be quick to follow. Drip, drip. Screaming, always trying to find someone who could hear her, trying to find someone who would help. He was always laughing, cold, heartless, mirthless laughs. He didn't care―it's what she hated the most. Drip. Drip... Drip. She hid. Her whole life seemed to be an enormous game of hide-and-seek. He was always 'it,' the nameless fear, the seeker. However, this seeker always had a ten-inch knife by his side and the game they were playing wasn’t innocent. It was life or death. Drip... Fear. Whispers of his ways of silencing her always brought another a bit more strength to her tired legs―it was the way he wanted it. He didn't hunt her for the fun―it was all about the chase. The knowledge had always been there―she was running from him and closer and closer to the figurative edge of insanity. He had always hemmed her in, leaving no route but what he chose. Drip... drip... The metaphorical edge was here, as was the horrific choice of being pushed, or hurling herself off. But it was her choice. Her life had been spent running and hiding, but it was over now. There was no time for deliberation, only a bit of time for action. Already she could hear his low chuckle, his creaking footfalls up the attic stairs.   ...drip...   Never again would she run from him. Never again would she beg for mercy. Never again. ...drip... It was over. The gun clattered to the ground as the limp hand released it. Slumped on the table, her last breath was released as rivulet of blood trickled down her arm and dripped to the floor. Drip.

 

Awards

Maliciously Morbid !

Aug 15, 2010

• In a Dark Wood
• Drip

 

Author's Note

just a little drabble about my psycho character Clark Craven.

Reviews

[alesuriko]

That was very powerful... wow! I loved the dripping, it was so ominous... and foreboding... truly creepy! I love the fragmented style that the drip gives off as well, very intense. I disagree with peterelbee, the insert of how she got the gun, aiming, etc would be unnecessary and tedious. It would drag on an otherwise perfectly concise write. There is so much tension in this story it's wonderful. An amazingly written piece! Well done!

[Ronn Michael Salinas]

nice reference to that ballad

[Amber Tasch]

ooooh! good!

[LunalitSol]

I really enjoyed this read. Highly intense, creepy, suspenseful...I was completely entranced. My biggest problem though was that it got pretty repetitive. I'm not talking about the Dripping, which was deliberate and, in fact, one of my favorite things in this (particularly as I often use that tool myself), but to words like "laugh" and "always" and things of that nature. It became rather redundant in this respect, which took away from the piece as a whole. Still, very good work. :)

[Matthew Kult]

William,

What can be said that hasn't been already. You are a master at your craft.

Regards,

Matthew

[peterelbee]

a very gripping tale, well told. You built up the story well with constant tension and creating intrigue as to what it was that was dripping.

My only crit would that the story the entire story focases on someone/something with a knife then ends with someone being shot. I assume she shot herself (though I have a habit of missing the point sometimes), in which it would have been better to add an extra paragraph detailing her reaching for such a weapon thentaking aim and finally shooting (each action could be incorperated in different paragraphs). Better still, you could open with her reaching fot the gun and have the stalker/whatever creeping down the hallway searching for her.

Then again it's your story, go with whatever suits you best.

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

Interesting. I like it how you used 'drip...drip' over and over again. It really worked well.