Abandon

Abandon

A Poem by William
"

at the end of the world, you're the last thing i see. you are never coming home, never coming home. could i? should i?

"

we’re at the end of the road [world] now, and
you’ve got your mouth to the barrel of the gun.
‘shoot,’ you say, ‘what are you waiting for?’
[‘why not,’ i wonder. ‘what’s the point?’]
there’s blood slipping from the corners
of your Chelsea smile, this is the moment
that i know it’s over. smile, your eyes are
stitched shut, and it’s not survival of the
fittest anymore. it’s survival of the liars
and the scared and the killers, and i know
that tonight i’ll join them, i’ll go down in the
book of judgment. i’m the last person on Earth.

i kiss you as the stars explode [bang bang]
i pull the trigger; the sky cries and fires go out
and you fall [fall in love, i won’t let you go]
i kiss you in the rain and wonder, ‘where’s
the beauty in this tragedy?’ whisper in your
ear, ‘i won’t let you go,’ as i stroke your hair.
kiss kiss bang bang, you lean back [fall down].
your hands tangle in my hair, we’re locked in
a blaze of passion as the day meets the night in
a fiery crash. i stay with you until the stars fall
and the dust lays still, the wind is silent and
you stare at me with your st-st-stitched-shut eyes.

judgment day, horrible sounds of screams and
dying terror. i take your hand and drag you
through the deserted highways and empty
hallways. the flickering fluorescent lights create
a grimy backdrop to the final climb. stairs, stars
and stairs and doors and we make it to the roof.
i hold your hand, and we kiss for the last time.
the background of sky explodes, we’re past the
end now, but this epilogue doesn’t have a happy
ending. it’s a bittersweet kiss, as i breathe you in,
tasting you breaks my heart. i steady myself and
abandon all, breathe one last breath and i take the fall.

illusion is only what we make it out to be.

 

 

Awards

  You are one sick person

May 30, 2010


 

Involuntary Rocking

Aug 22, 2010


 

mind awakening

Aug 30, 2010



Gold

Sep 2, 2010


© 2011 William


Author's Note

William
i did mean, "stairs, stars and stairs", by the way.
this is my absolute favorite of my works.
ever.
enjoy. :3

My Review

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Featured Review

I adore the last line! Profound, not original, but indeed fitting the poem to a T and making the entire experience much more intense! This is an intensely descriptive poem and the imagery is gorgeously disturbing. A wonderful beautification of decay! The structure is one thing that has to be noted, very academic and form fitting but in a flexible, creative way that goes beyond any hold on structure... if that makes any sense at all haha. I loved "st-st-stitched-shut" great rhythm and notion. The only thing I found to critique is "you hands tangle in my hair," I think it should be "your hands". A truly, wonderfully beautiful piece of art. You are indeed talented!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

TRUE EVERY WORD! THIS IS GOING IN MY FAVS AS IT SHOULD EVERYONE'S! This is one of many truthful poems that I have ever read and the fact of it is is that the world is what we make it good or bad. Think positive or negative you make things yourself no one else can for you and that's what you said full terms of truth I LOVE IT!

Posted 14 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow!
Crazy poem. at first, its a bit hard to understand but then the words begin to flow out and the story comes alive!
Great Work!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this. Very Very good.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I wish I could read this. The print is too small :(

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow! I can definitely see why this poem is your favorite. its amazing! im so sorry because I cant say anything else. its one of the best poems ive ever read! i mean that... i read it, and its like the words flow perfectly with eachother. wonderful work! truly wonderful! im favoriting this

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow u r a great poet


Posted 14 Years Ago


You have a unique style that I adore, this is brilliant.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I adore the last line! Profound, not original, but indeed fitting the poem to a T and making the entire experience much more intense! This is an intensely descriptive poem and the imagery is gorgeously disturbing. A wonderful beautification of decay! The structure is one thing that has to be noted, very academic and form fitting but in a flexible, creative way that goes beyond any hold on structure... if that makes any sense at all haha. I loved "st-st-stitched-shut" great rhythm and notion. The only thing I found to critique is "you hands tangle in my hair," I think it should be "your hands". A truly, wonderfully beautiful piece of art. You are indeed talented!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was a great read...I thought it was funny Chelsea was the only word capitalized in the entirety...Chelsea is my daughter's name. ;o) You have a really talented pen. I gave this 100% as well.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow I can definitely see why this is your absolute favorite, I love it entirely! so mysterious, with a taste of longing, dread, yet also kind of a hint of peace that delights the tongues of our minds. I do beleive I will be adding this to my library, this is the kind of writing that is right up my ally! You did an amazing job with the word play to keep up guessing;
"i kiss you as the stars explode [bang bang] i pull the trigger"
"and you fall [fall in love, i won’t let you go]"
"we’re at the end of the road [world]"

Its tragic, he kills the women he loves but the act feels right and unintrusive as you read and you feel a twinge of sadness that is mirrored with a guilty happiness.

Fantastic poem, thats all I can say at this point I gave you 100/100

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1484 Views
40 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 13 Libraries
Added on September 4, 2009
Last Updated on August 14, 2011

Author

William
William

Atco, NJ



About
Hello, my name is William and I'm a write-aholic. My first poem ever was written in January 2009, so I'm still pretty rough. Nothing is perfect, but I'm addicted to writing, and I do enjoy doing it.. more..

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