Abandon

at the end of the world, you're the last thing i see. you are never coming home, never coming home. could i? should i?

we’re at the end of the road [world] now, and
you’ve got your mouth to the barrel of the gun.
‘shoot,’ you say, ‘what are you waiting for?’
[‘why not,’ i wonder. ‘what’s the point?’]
there’s blood slipping from the corners
of your Chelsea smile, this is the moment
that i know it’s over. smile, your eyes are
stitched shut, and it’s not survival of the
fittest anymore. it’s survival of the liars
and the scared and the killers, and i know
that tonight i’ll join them, i’ll go down in the
book of judgment. i’m the last person on Earth.

i kiss you as the stars explode [bang bang]
i pull the trigger; the sky cries and fires go out
and you fall [fall in love, i won’t let you go]
i kiss you in the rain and wonder, ‘where’s
the beauty in this tragedy?’ whisper in your
ear, ‘i won’t let you go,’ as i stroke your hair.
kiss kiss bang bang, you lean back [fall down].
your hands tangle in my hair, we’re locked in
a blaze of passion as the day meets the night in
a fiery crash. i stay with you until the stars fall
and the dust lays still, the wind is silent and
you stare at me with your st-st-stitched-shut eyes.

judgment day, horrible sounds of screams and
dying terror. i take your hand and drag you
through the deserted highways and empty
hallways. the flickering fluorescent lights create
a grimy backdrop to the final climb. stairs, stars
and stairs and doors and we make it to the roof.
i hold your hand, and we kiss for the last time.
the background of sky explodes, we’re past the
end now, but this epilogue doesn’t have a happy
ending. it’s a bittersweet kiss, as i breathe you in,
tasting you breaks my heart. i steady myself and
abandon all, breathe one last breath and i take the fall.

illusion is only what we make it out to be.

 

 

Awards

  You are one sick person

May 30, 2010

• Sick and Twisted
• Abandon

 

Involuntary Rocking

Aug 22, 2010

• Insane
• Abandon

 

mind awakening

Aug 30, 2010

• Hidden message
• Abandon

Gold

Sep 2, 2010

• Let's talk suicide
• Abandon

Author's Note

i did mean, "stairs, stars and stairs", by the way.
this is my absolute favorite of my works.
ever.
enjoy. :3

Reviews

[alesuriko]

I adore the last line! Profound, not original, but indeed fitting the poem to a T and making the entire experience much more intense! This is an intensely descriptive poem and the imagery is gorgeously disturbing. A wonderful beautification of decay! The structure is one thing that has to be noted, very academic and form fitting but in a flexible, creative way that goes beyond any hold on structure... if that makes any sense at all haha. I loved "st-st-stitched-shut" great rhythm and notion. The only thing I found to critique is "you hands tangle in my hair," I think it should be "your hands". A truly, wonderfully beautiful piece of art. You are indeed talented!

[Chris]

Very, very well done...

Chris

[Marie Anzalone]

and I wonder how much is metaphor and how much delusion and how much real? as we move towards a place in time where these fragments feel more real than the kiss of the sun and the grass under the foot. we are here, we are here, but we are not here. and we can only see the world now in shadows. This feels as though you slipped into the misanthropic mind of a gamer who decided what was inside the machine was more real than what sustained him from the outside. Chilling, because I can hear the resonance of a fragmented lost wold here.

[GridLok]

Murder/suicide? So gruesomely effective, I wondered how you survived to tell the tale.

[Mark]

While it is hard for me to endorse a poem which espouses suicide as a viable solution, I CAN wholeheartedly commend the structure and word choices within this dark, desperate piece. Your use of bracketing, to suggest the jittery, undecided makeup of the speaker, or his openness to being misinterpreted, is quite inspired, and the "stairs, stars, stairs" line, IOW, looking down, looking up, then looking down yet again, was a subtle and lovely bit of emotional punctuation. Thank you for this glimpse into a tortured soul.

[angelina neves]

wonderful

[Helen Crutchett]

"there’s blood slipping from the corners
of your Chelsea smile"

"you stare at me with your st-st-stitched-shut eyes."

I got chills just copying those lines and the whole poem was a chilling experience, pulling me into a tense experience indeed. Excellently penned. Thank you for submitting this to my contest. Helena

[Kenneth The Poet]

Nice work, this is very trenchant and dark. I love it.

[Ruth]

Blimey! lol Now this is perfect...a trail of surreality and I am left reeling! Immersed! LOVE this, amazing work :) xx

[Rawr_It's_Krista;)]

This is an amazing poem very word soked in. Your trail of thought is interesting. :) Don't stop writing!!