Dreams, or Nightmares?

When I fall asleep at night,
When I close my eyes to sleep and dream, and enter this world of mine,
I don't always see the things I want, as sad as it is to me.
I will dream of love, of the memories of my life,
The things I've seen, and felt, and done all coming back to me.

So many nights I take a walk, all down memory lane,
For many people that would bring much joy,
But for me I just get pain.
For a night that started with dreaming a dream,
Of love and life, and me,
Ended up with me waking at night, with my face streaming with tears.
My pillow will be soaking wet, and I will have to sit there and think,
"Why was I crying?" I would always ask myself.

When I realized my dreams had changed, they didn't bring me joy,
My loving dream, of what my life used to be,
Turned into a nightmare of the horrors I would see.

For to me a nightmare is not monsters and ghosts,
I don't run from the dark like I did as a girl.
But what scares me the most, is what has really happened to me,
I fell in love, I never fell out,
I saw death that follows me every day,
And then I see my life today, what all of that has lead up to.
And when I realize what has happened to me, in the days that have come,
I cry even more, as I realize my dream never ended.
And by dream I mean nightmare, the horrors of my life.
So I cried even more, I just can't cry any less...