Tapping on the Window

We always feel like emotions will last forever, no matter what they are. However, it always seems like the ones we WANT to last ... Well they never do. This poem is one example of that, of love ... the best example in the world.

Waiting in the rain, tapping on the window, tapping turns to knocking, and knocking turns to pounding. 

                               I see your face inside,

I see the whites of your eyes,

          You look me in the face then you close the blinds. 

Tears roll down my face, as I stare still in awe.

                                                            I could swear you were the one,

I thought I knew my search was done. 

               I turned and ran, into the streets I went. 

Where was I goin’?

                        I didn’t know, I didn’t care.

 I wanted to leave the pain,

                           Wanted to get better.

 For you were only a pill,

            Which made me only iller, and iller still.

Author's Note

I was having problems with my BF and when I tried to picture what was happening ... In my mind this is what i saw ...I never imagined it would show like this.

Reviews

[Cool Handless Luke]

although it hurts the most - these things usually make the best written poems you have. you did great in putting your pain into words. I like how you jumped around a little with your lines. Some people do it just to stand out but it really works on this poem. Nicely done - you should continue to write and post more here - it's a good constructive place to get feedback and to read new stuff yourself. Welcome to the Cafe!

[Alaska Frost]

I really like this poem! It's well written, and it has a nice flow to it.
One suggestion:
Instead of "I thought I knew my search was done. ", you could take out the "I knew" so that it would be "I thought my search was done." It's just a suggestion, but I think that it would make the poem flow even more.

Poems are always better when we write about what we know.
I also like the way the poem is set up. It makes it more effective!!
Great job and keep writing!

-Alaska Frost :)