Ranting Once Again.

A boring little rant from the mind of Dara.

Some of us are broken. Why? Sometimes things just break. Computers, hearts, windows, trust... The list goes on. But someday, maybe we'll get fixed back up. Or maybe... Maybe not. You see, this is a broken, hurting world we live in. Just look around when you walk down the street, through the hallway at school, by the cubicles at work... See the unguarded moments people accidentally share? It's proof. Proof that the whole world hurts, everyone is broken in one way or another. And sadly, some people never know the relief, the pure thankfulness you feel when someone makes a step toward moving forward. Forgetting your past and their past and seeing you, and you alone. Only you... Not your fears, not your secrets, not your sins, not your history. Just you. See, some people never feel that joy, that happiness.
They just keep going for the sake of going.
Not going anywhere..
Just going.
They force themselves to taste the smile and fake a laugh and put one foot in front of the other... Not really feeling. Just going. So they can say they did. So.... So the pain seems far off. Or maybe it makes the pain unreal. Floating in the gray area with the unhappiness, the anguish, the depression, and the destruction at arms-length. But the good things are out of reach as well. There's a trade-off with that... You become numb, cold, and empty. You see, closing yourself down protects you destructively. It helps you conditionally. That's the thing about life. You either lived it or you didn't. And I don't mean you ate and slept and had children and pretended to be a friend or have friends, I don't mean that you got sick and got well again and breathed and smiled and laughed and fell and hurt and bled and then healed and moved on. I mean really LIVED. Did you feel the sun on your face, the wind in your hair? Did you live to the fullest? Did you put yourself out there and fall in love or make a new friend or discover a new interest? Or did you put yourself out there and get hurt... Get rejected... Or left... Or dissappointed...? And after that, then what?
Option A: You hurt for a while, then you let it go. Never fully forgetting but nevertheless MOVING ON.And you felt the happiness, the sun, the wind. laughed and smiled and had friends and continued to live.
Or...
Option B: You hurt for a while. Then you hurt for a while more. Then you wallowed in your own misery and groveled in your own pain until it hurt so much more than in the begining and the wound festered and was repeatedly torn back open as you selfishly sulked. You were jealous of the other people in your life who at least could ACT happy. You shut yourself down and kept that pain to yourself, too scared of telling someone, cause it would mean putting yourself out there once more.
So... Which did you choose?
Option A or B? It's simple, my friends. There is no getting around the fact you will have to choose. Are you just going through the motions? Are you hurting in secret, wallowing in your own grief and unable to share it with someone else or are you ready to let it go and feel okay again and be happy and move on and live? The burden is too much to bear alone. Smile again, laugh and breathe and live without feeling guilty you're alive. Pull through the pain and get back to the good times. Trust me. I've been there.
And ya know what?

I reccommend Option A.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems, mon chers.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

its nice what you say but its not that easy to put everything behind and live your life again..
i read Eugene O Neal,The Iceman Cometh..he gathered a bunch of losers, his characters all are friends like living together all the time..
drinking their days and night to sink down all dreams lost ,all guilt felt of things wrongly done,dreams that could never be
accomplished,a life that passed them by..
but all the time joking themselves that the very next day they will pull themselves up,shave and clean to take the big step ..live up to their dreams again ..live their lives for real again..feel their lives again..go out to the streets..to some real life..
but every next morning as it comes they coward back to their seats and could never take the big leap and the big step and so
days ran after days as life elapsed and they still sat there in the same bar drinking their life away for they knew once they left that place to mingle into life again they all surely will die that same day..
i completely agree with him..he is a master and my best writer,but i loved your write ,it gave me a lot to think about..
lovely write