My relation with Jesus

Its a little long,but hope you connect with it and flow with the theme

 I am not afraid to study or do any kind of thing

              I love Christ a lot but I am just anti in one thing why should sinners deserve heaven

              Why should other  who threatens poor and weak person like me get better life than me if I am the one who

              believes in Real Lord- Christ

 

              I don’t know why He loves the others more

              Are they more deserving to get him and not me

              These who call themselves the warriors here

               Let them see what you are my Lord

               Let them see how jeleous you are

               My pains , don’t let them shade away in daylight

                I call you by day and night

                I know I will be there with you God; in heaven

                But what good is it as they would eitherway be  in hell

 

                My tears evaporate

                They are left unseen and my cries

                They remain unheard yet

                They say we have our brothers and fathers

                How should I answer them O Lord

                My words are like sword with blunt edges

                Their sharpness lost; as it was you

                My strenght is you

                Seeking you; lifting my eyes

                My eyes dry up

                No tears left to shed

                No cries left to scream

                Don’t know  whom should I speak unto

                Whose eyes to contact to

                Whose lips to speak thy prophecy

                The lehends

 

                 Now a days I feel the same

                  I have ever had

                  Scripts says He makes the shephered the king

                  Am I more than shephered?

                  No my Lord. No my Lord.

                  All say my blood’s impure

                   Is it?

                   I dip my blood in yours

                   I have bear mockery

                   I have let them hurl insults on me

                   Didn't I lived life on your steps?

                   You too took mockery and insults

                   Your soul was slained

                   Even mine; they bled you

                   Same they metted out with me

                    I look upon you to provide me justice

                   My eyes have swelled up waiting

                   Waiting for your mercy

                   Your kingdom to come

 

                   And what they say me now?

                   They say I am against you

                    I am possessed

                   They ask me whats my obsession with this money

                   They ask so because they haven’t been through what I have

 

                    They reckon that I have no business here

                    No right to stand amongst them

                    No destiny written in gonden with luminous pen like their’s

                    What if the time lock opens

                     I girded with chains of indesplicability

                    Will I be displicable to the one who have been the same to me

                    Key to eternal knowledge

                    That’s what God does wish man to get

                    They say you aren’t the one who forsees future

                    Yes because I fortalk future

                    And whatever on eath it has to be

                    It isn’t in favor of what I wished

                    My pains entice me now

                     I feel bled with them

                    But now certain fears grip me

                    Will ever Lord God be with me?

 

                    What hope and good was my faith of

                    If it tumbles befor the fated day

                    But if it’s the way He wishes

                    Let it be the same

 

                    They say you write rubbish

                    As its far from their’s comprehension

                    Days pass by and grew near

                    The day when my wishes will again rise

                    They will as decided they will

                     No to discuss about them its what scriptures say

 

                     I am not invited in any gathering

                     Life is hard to live

                     My words are painful

                     They increase my pain

                     Living amongst people in no way like you

                     Losing a part of my soul

                     My hands shake

                      Its more hard to breathe here

                      There is stiffness in my throat because of sorrow

                       I look for excuse to lure myself

                       I persuade myself to believe good days are near

                       Still walking on roads with thorns

                       My feet bleed and my heart continuously sobs

                       My brain makes me more weak than ever

                       Through its knowledge that there is no way out

                       My teeth; they ache because of hunger

                       My tounge yearning for water

                       My legs; they are stiff now

                       But still here I am walking on death road

                       Mind says death’s better

                       Still don’t wanna lose hope

                       Continuously walking on death road

                        No one is there where I am going

                        Too cold to bear; failure biting all the way

                        Wherever I go , Wherever I go

                        Faces of enemies I see during this journey of mine

                        They are happy and revelling

                        Then I see face of a boy who struggeled a lot

                        Was drowning and choking

                         Terrible were his cries, his eyes were swollen

                         Cries were lound in beginning; then silented his wovs

                          For that boy is pathetically helpless

                          His poor helpless face occupies my mind

                          And here I walk on death road

 

                           My mouth gapes

                           My feet seems to be weigted

                           Weighted they are

                           Locked with heavy chains of days of sorrow

                           My eyes are heavy

                           My goal no where near to be seen

                            Still here I continue to walk on death road