The Unlucky Many

 

 

Walking on a lonely road,

I see the world from a diffrent mode,

The realities of life dawn upon me,

Lies and truths do I see,

I crack open from my walled shell,

Watch humanity like candy-floss sell,

Every corner is a home to a poor man,

Orphans and beggars make me wan,

The sad eyes and the longing lips,

That have lost the shine and the grip,

Every other being is a hapless grain,

Crying for help that goes invain,

The rich are busy enjoying the luxuries,

For the destitute their are not many missionaries,

A Mother Teressa is no longer alive,

Who would in their sufferings with others dive,

Hunger everyday starves many a hundred,

Is being POOR that Big a BLUNDER??

 

 

 

I now realise how blind I had been,

Thinking this world to be a perfect dream,

I had been faking along with many millions,

Never really opening my eyes to the genuine,

Now that i am fully awake,

The anguish; The Agony cripples me like a person burning at stake,

The gift of life now I truly prize,

Searching for my defined purpose prime,

I have learnt to appreciate my being one of the lucky few,

Getting to see the morning dew,

Sorrounded every moment by freinds and family,

I give love and recieve much more in lieu,

Not a day have I passed longing for some bread,

The future for me is secure so nothing to dread,

Everything for me is a bed of Roses,

Not caring a bit for the innocent yet thrown away babies,

Who arrives, who departs does not follow our voice,

BUT WALKING TOGETHER THROUGH THE MAZE OF LIFE IS SURE A CHOICE..

 

 

Author's Note

I dont think I could express myself pretty well in this one....

Reviews

[deeps]

I can really feel this one here!
You seem to have a huge heart and it shows.
Nice flow of words and written so well.

[Therene]

One word: empathic. :D

It's the sincere kindness within you that made this poem great. It's not the technicalities. Although, yes. There are some points that could be cleared up buy I think your sole purpose is to convey the message and pass it on.

Good job!

[Senseless whatever]

I get the message pretty clear in this one. I would say to step back and maybe restructure this a bit. Flip a few lines or possibly add something. It is good but can be cleaned and has potential to be much better.

[Dev]

I think that this write conveys a sense of human shamelessness.. or whatever better word you can think of.. We jump to conclusions and judge people by the clothes they wear.. We dont lend a helping hand and expect others to do something to change the world.. Be the change you want to see.. Thats easier said than followed.. I liked reading this.. A few typos but I amnt complainin my work has its own share of typos

[Princy]

Who arrives, who departs does not follow our voice,

BUT WALKING TOGETHER THROUGH THE MAZE OF LIFE IS SURE A CHOICE..

WOW!!!

[An owl on the moon]

You paint for us a world of sorrows... a world where the rich cling to more... and the poor cling to life... We walk this road... all of us.. Thank you for showing it in such a powerful, poetic way... to stir our hearts...

[harman kour]

its an brilliant write... heart-felt, thought provoking... Loved each and every line of it! The idea behind it is great and we-the so called lucky ones must learn something from this one!!! Kepp it up!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the story and feel of this poem. We must do what we can for the poor and needy. I like the ending a lot. Your style made this poem a pleasure to read.
Coyote

[Shalini Dinesh]

nice poem and nice message too, the second stanza has got a typo,

"I now realise how blind I had ben,"

its supposed to be "been" right? i think its a typo, just check that, and the first stanza last line,

"Hunger everyday starves many hundreds,
Is being POOR that Big a BLUNDER?"

i think the rhyming between HUNDREDS and BLUNDER is like forced and doesn't go along well, maybe make a slight change, to rhyme well...
otherwise the poem was good with a strong message...

i think these two lines are just interrupting with the flow of the poem,
"Everything for me is a bed of Roses,
Not caring a bit for the innocent yet thrown away babies,"