A Prisoner's pain!

Once watched a heart-breaking documentary on the lives of prisoners at Guantanamo bay. This one is inspired from there...

 

 

There is gloom around the place,

I am enclosed in a blaze,

The four walls are torturing me wild,

The darkness has made me blind!

The thoughts in my head have formed a maze,

The outer world is already a daze!

Nights and days have no distinction,

I so ferventely wish for extinction!

The agony has broken me down,

Every moment I feel chased by ferocious hounds!

The air is stale and the floor wet,

Life and love have long left!

The heart feels like a pumping organ,

My only wish is for a little dormer!

To save my soul from this violent pain,

I am ever ready for any trade!

 

 

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Your writing brings alive the painfulness experienced my so many locked off from society.. from hope.. Powerfully written!

[Sean M. Addams]

excellent job!!! a very deep piece.... alot of your pieces are filled with different emotions... very well expressed..nice work!!

[Shalini Dinesh]

Life is prison is tough and i have seen in movies though haven't seen in real... and your poem is so powerful exposing the pain.. nice poem...

[Princy]

agonizing! seriously, i'm picturing the ones who ate jailed even though they are innocent and are convicted with any crime! they are brutally treated! and their life becomes like a soul less body!

[Dev]

I can only imagine what it must be like in those cells.. You're locked up in a box with no hope.. Guantanamo is said to be one of the worst places in the world.. I think torture and punishment are two different things.. Doing time after doing something is different from being innocent yet being treated badly..

[Nayan]

This reminds me really of the torture that the inmates of Guantanamo bay and similar jails, have to face every moment! It so animal-like that I sometimes ask myself are we still humans!!!

Really wonderful write dear! And it also resembles the feelings of such a poor and tortured guy, who cannot express in big words but in such small lines.

Just a suggestion : Try making the last line to rhyme with the one before. All other lines are rhyming so well, that is why I am saying so...

[Coyote Poetry]

Being lock up and without hope. Would be a bad place to be in. Your description was very good. I don't know the cure would be. We all need hope and purpose. A powerful poem.
Coyote

[MissWordSmith]

very nice....i can see you were inspired! This was one hell of a write!

May i make a suggestion though ? .. .try using different rhyming schemes. dab with many till you find you like.

[harman kour]

its great 2 see that u r penning down your thoughts on such different topics so vividly and incredibly... keep it up!

[PoeT4994]

Nice imagery...puts you in a sense of reality of the situation. That's what I love about good poetry, like this, if it's done right, it's like an acid trip...you just see all these images floatin around like they're real, I love it.