Rose's goodbye letter.

Picture the scene, Rose and Danny 2 unlikely lovers, brought together by social awkwardness find themselves having to say goodbye to one another in Rose's last few days as she is terminally ill.

My Dearest Danny, I don't think I have the strength to fight much longer, and I don't think my heart can take the pain of watching you hear this. Not that I think I could say this to your face anyway. The lovely nurse is helping me to write this while you've passed out again next to me. It's cute watching you sleep, your nose keeps twitching and you keep flicking your hair back. Every now and then a tear eases its way out of you and it hurts me so much to know that I'm the cause of that, but even in your sleep you can uplift me, just as often as you cry you let out a sneaky smile. I'm hoping as much pain as I'm causing you in your subconscious that it is balanced with happy memories too. I want to apologize too for pushing you away, I don't want you to be confused, I didn't blame you, I didn't hate you, I was trying to protect you. I thought the more distance I put between us the easier it would be for you, and more selfishly for me. Please don't resent me for that Danny, It was you're heart I was thinking of. Do you remember when you came round to my house? While you was asleep yesterday my dad told me he was so happy that somebody had finally come for me that he didn't quite know what to do with himself. I told him he did good though, forcing me onto you, even though you did embarrass me in front of that lady in the chip shop.Even now the Spring campfire is my favourite time together. Two morons fumbling around with words, both stuttering stumbling and falling. Lilly was there being her usual self, putting us to shame with her witty banter. You made me feel more nervous than I have ever felt before. I wanted to throw up with every glance of your amazing blue eyes, it was like I was visible to somebody other than my sister for the first time. You won't ever understand how important that was to me. I didn't know it when I first met you, but I knew it then, my heart right then and there was yours to take if you wanted it. From that moment on you were my inspiration to succeed. My inspiration to integrate. My hopes, my dreams my passion. I sat there analyzing every micro move you made, every pluck of the guitar string made my knees tremble and shake. Every breathe you took was one you stole from me. I don't know how many heart beats you made me miss that night, but you gave them all back to me a few weeks later when you made my heart race so much that we ended up doing something I had never envisaged myself doing before. I had never felt more alive than those intimate moments together. I almost wish it had ended right there. Still with my long flowing hair that you kept having to move out of the way to reach my lips. The sensual moments where you undressed me when I laid in your arms all night, and be sure that in my last moments that will be the thought that's with me. I don't know how you do it still, you always seemed so peaceful and in admiration of the world around you. I hope you never lose that about you Danny. It's what draws me to you even now, I wish I had the strength to reach over and grasp your warm hands, and one last time sweep the hair out of your eyes to gaze right into them. I wish I could softly press my lips against yours in one final embrace, I wish I could lay in your arms again and listen for hours to your heart beat. I wish we could have had all the things we wanted together, I wish I was going to be here to see your success and I wish I was there to pick you up when you fall. I ache for one last time under the stars happy just being together. I dream that I go to a place where one day you will find me and we can do this all over again. If I could make one more request, if I had a choice of how to leave this world, if I was afforded anything I desired Daniel. This wouldn't be any different. This is what I want now. You beside me forever and always. Your heart and mine intertwined bound by memories. Our love not quite fulfilled our potential not quite met. It's scary Danny, it's taken me a long time to come to terms with things and its funny how dying feels like living for a little while, but I thank you for all you have done. I will be looking down at you, my faith, my mind, my heart and love are forever yours. I miss you already. Rose x

Author's Note

Rose and Danny struggle with expressing their feelings to anybody especially ones so complex. This is the only way Rose can say goodbye

Reviews

[J_Star]

This is so incredibly sad and beautiful; I can really feel the depth of Rose's emotion as she spills out her final thoughts to her lover. After reading this you hope that Danny knows how happy he made her, and can find comfort in it.

[simon]

I'm not even going to lie, I re-read it four times crying every time, and I recorded myself reading to hear it though again and my cracking voice recording made me cry again! I never get that emotional either, last time I cried was 15 years ago when I broke my arm! The fact I know everything that's going to happen in the book gave me more of a back story though haha. Thanks for the review! :)

[J_Star]

You're quite welcome. If you have such a strong emotional reaction to the sentiments in this letter, I think that tells you you're writing about exactly the thing you should be writing about. It's a matter of harnessing that power and making it work for you. Which is really cool. Good luck with the piece!

[simon]

Thanks, hopefully I manage to finish the book and it works as I want it to, to give people an opportunity to empathize with the characters as strongly as I did :)