Chapter Seven: I'd Die First

“Your highness, we’ve found her,” the guard drug me into my father’s chamber, squeezing too tightly on my arm.

        “Oh, thank goodness,” my mother was the one who let out a painful sounding cry. She immediately pounced up off of her cushioned seat and embraced me as if she had not seen me for much longer than the actual two days it’s been. “Oh, Callea.”

        My father now stood up and the guard left the room. “Callea I am very disappointed in you. Very. Where have you been? You took on the responsibility of being the heir to this throne and then you run off, allowing anyone to kill you. Why you fool!”

        “You don’t even know where I was, father,” I state, rolling my eyes. Of course, I was doing what he was scolding me for just now but he didn’t know that, nor would I be the one to tell him. He himself might kill me if he knew I’d fallen in love with a Kaithronese man.

        “Gone. Gone and that’s all that matters.”

        “Harold, that’s enough,” my mother barges in. “Callea get some rest tonight dear, we’ll talk in the morning.”

        “Love, you can’t just forgive her for that. Who’s to say she wont do it again unless we punish her now?” my father booms. When he was angry he was hard to reason with,

        “And how do you propose we punish the next Queen of Aynah? Confine her from never going anywhere again?”

        “Why not,” my father growls, even though you could hear that he understood how unreasonable that would be. Either way I’d find a way out of this castle somehow because I knew that I could not live without seeing Kier again, as horrible as it is.

        “Get some rest, Callea,” my mother reiterates and I nod once then leave the chamber with my father grumbling off pointlessly. Again.

        Sleep was almost impossible though. I couldn’t stop smiling. I couldn’t stop thinking. I was unconditionally happy and I felt like an idiot. I was merry and shaken all at once. I’d never felt like it before.

        I wasn’t surprised when the sun was risen again. Twenty nine days were left. Was I going to be able to wait that long? 

        I somehow managed a couple hours of sleep because Abigail was suddenly shaking me awake. “It’s nearly the afternoon, Princess, why are you still sleeping? Good heaven’s child.”

        Then I was tossed about in my usual morning routine. I felt like it was a conversion back to my old life. That same kind of conversion where you can be completely and ridiculously happy until you’re reminded of something awful and then you suddenly question why you were so giddy just moments before. I was still anxious, but no longer jumping out of my chest happy. Instead I was starting to feel again that sense of gloom as Abigail hustled me into the courtroom with all the courtiers and my father, still giving me a cross glare.

        “Thank you for joining us so late, daughter,” my father grumbled off. I slouched in my seat, ignoring all the eyes that were set on me, determined to kill me with their eyes.

        Am I ever going to be able to tell Kier that I’m Princess Callea? Well, surely he’ll hate me but being a peasant boy wouldn’t it astound him in some way that I’m royalty and perhaps he could look past the fact that we wee enemies from birth?

        “Princess,” my father pounds on the table. “Pay attention, Callea, or you’ll corrupt Aynah within moments of your reigning. These sessions are for you, so participate.” His anger was flaring and I can’t help but smile. I was determined to stop the war somehow when I reign anyhow, so in a sense none of this would truly matter anyway.

        My father waited, as if for some response like “Sorry father, I’ll be strictly attentive now,” or “Yes almighty king.” With a smile, I respond instead, “Sorry, I was distracted, continue.”

        My father gave me a long hard stare. I cowered a little but refused to let it phase me. With a smile still pasted on my face I refuse to let it down. My father treats me as if I’m some sort of traitorous peasant that he’s been seeking revenge on for a while now and I wasn’t going to tolerate it.”

        “We’ll talk after the session, Callea, father to daughter and not King to Princess.” With that, he droned on about parts of the war and then different issues with other lands besides Kaithron.

        “However, enough of the bad news,” my father smirks now. “It appears our queen-to-be has received an offer for marriage. Now, it’s simply a wealthy baron by the name of Christopher Paisley so I informed him that it will be considered.”

        There’s a few whispers among the men surrounding me and I sit up straighter. “Objection,” I tune in. “I’m fifteen years old. I wont be reigning for a few years and who said anything about marrying so young?”

        My father rolls his eyes. “Your selfish wants aren’t the issue here Callea, it’s whether or not we want to give Aynah to the hands of a Baron, a commoner none the less. Our history would surely be changed and as he wouldn’t be the first and foremost leader, we would still be giving a part of this country to a man who has no experience with ruling one, at all.”

        “How old is this man?” I shriek. Were they really considering marrying me to a man I didn’t know anything about without any consent from me whatsoever?

        “Twenty-four, Callea, he’s young which should please you a little,” my father replied bitterly. “But my daughter being so young-” didn’t I just say that? “there could be more offers in the future. One from a prince who’s not heir to his own throne, or maybe just some other highly ranked royal.”

        Men started voicing different opinions. I glowered when one man spoke something along the lines of, “or what if we wed her within the reigns of Aynah to one of our own courtiers- such as myself perhaps. No man would know Aynah more than that.” then shortly after another man, “or perhaps a more wise, educated man such as myself.”

        What pigheaded buffoons. As if my father would buy into that.

        “We’ll see, we’ll see. Well, surely we have a lot to consider with the marriage of a man to my daughter. Now onto the next subject: what are we to do with that kitchen maid who’s been caught several times stealing food?”

        The painful conversation continued on and there wasn’t a thing I could do to help it. When the sun was starting to set, finally the men decided that it was enough for one day and that they’d consider over the next week or two. I was likely the first one out of the room, mostly to avoid my father and whatever he wanted to say to me from earlier. Or perhaps he’d forgotten.

        Oh, I wonder what Kier is doing right now. Has he been thinking of me nearly as much as I’ve been thinking of him?

        “Princess,” I hear from behind me. Only it sounded more like “Preenciss,” which was the only reason why I allowed myself to stop and turn around.

        “Louis,” I greet him, giving him a nod with my head. He was the only guard whom didn’t seem to detest my very soul (despite that Abigail tried to convince me that none of them really do).

        “You drop thees,” he tells me, then holds out the necklace Vorion gave to me. I take it from him gently. I sigh. What if I’d dropped it and it had not been returned to me?

        “Thank you, Louis,” I thank him as I lean in and kiss him on the cheek. He nods once and I smile, then turn again to walk to somewhere that my father wouldn’t find me to scold my every move.

        But then I can’t help but question. What would Vorion think of my new affair with a Kaithronese man?

        *~*

        My father was reading in my chamber as I entered late at night for bed again. He glanced up from his book and I immediately started to walk the other direction, planning on spending the night with my sister or something instead tonight.

        But he caught me before I could get far, barreling me out through my chamber and onto my balcony. “Callea, I know that look you’ve been getting, I saw it on your mother many years ago several times.” I refuse to meet his gaze as my father continues to yell at me. “Now, Callea, I insist you tell me right this instance where you were when you ran away.”

        I try to pry my arm from his grip but he holds fast. 

        “Tell me, Callea!” he yells, insisting.

        “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I spit begrudgingly. As if I would tell him anything.

        “Who’s the man, Callea? It is of my business because if you wind up having a child come nine months-”

        “That wont be possible.” How dare he accuse me of being an absolute harlot! 

        “Yet you admit there is a man; even if you deny it I know there is. Tell me his name, now.”

        “I don’t know his name,” I lie, my jaw tightening. “He didn’t even see me I don’t think, he just caught my attention for a moment in town and that was all.”

        My father hesitated for a long moment, trying to decide whether or not to believe it. I don’t move, just keeping still. If he thought there was another man somewhere than it would be impossible for me to see Kier again in about twenty-eight days. Once he decides he lets go of my arm.

        “Love is a foolish thing to fall into for you now, Callea. Hideously foolish. Because soon you will be married and it is not likely that whatever idiot you fall in love with will not be your betrothed. So wave the thought of love goodbye because it is strictly forbidden in this castle.”

        “Fine,” I agree, only to please him. There was no going back on loving Kier for me though, so he was going to have to sleep with the though that I was not in love at all. “I wouldn’t dream of marrying a man who’d end up like you anyway. I swear on my life father, I will not marry an Aynahn man, not a courtier or anything. I would die, first.”

        This was the truth. All men in Aynah are pigs. Hadrian was just one example of it, and those other men earlier today were two more examples. 

        “That will be for the court to decide,” my father huffs. “Not a petty little princess.”

        I turn from him and walk back into my chamber, walking past and planning to head to Tasia’s chamber and make a bed of her couch for the night or something; anything to avoid my father. Who was he to tell me to never love? That was like confining me to never read or never think. At this point it couldn’t be controlled from me. Not unless Kier was going to state that he detested my very soul, but even then I don’t know if my heart would be tamed. He wasn’t like Hadrian. He reminded me much of Vorion actually.

        If Vorion had met him and he were not Kaithronese, I concluded that Vorion would like him very, very much. But even with him being so, if I loved him then so would he.

        He didn’t deserve to be killed in this war. 

        Is Kier fighting in the war? That wasn’t even mentioned last time I spoke with him. He didn’t say a word about it. I know it may sound silly, but isn’t there the slightest possibility that if Kier was fighting that he killed my brother?

        Suddenly I felt very sick to my stomach. Yet I didn’t want to know the answer.