Farewells & Flowers

.... from months of separation and precious days of being together ... from commuting between Frankfurt and Casablanca ..... from loving and missing

Farewells & Flowers

He always comes with flowers

roses mostly

because he knows I love them so

He always come with flowers

when he fetches me from the airport

it has been our ritual

ever since that first time we met this way

that first time

when we knew each other only 

from endless chats on the internet

from KNOWING each other in the elusive virtual world

THAT first time,

when he fetched me from the airport

he came with flowers too

almost hiding behind them with a worried little smile

we were both worried

worried in our different ways 

that the internet intimacy that we had shared

only lived in that virtual world

but would not stand the test of reality

None of that now

none of that from that first meeting

eye-to-eye across that first bunch of flowers

A year of coming and going

marrying

visum

lawyers

grief

tears

anger

home-making

laughing

loving

A year of flowers at the airport

and - another ritual - a year of keeping them

ONE from each bunch

dried and withered

silent sentinels to painful separations

shrivelled roses with sad, drooping heads

scattered in both our homes now

- in Germany and in Casa -

And NOW I am looking at the latest

in that never-ending row of flower bouquets

no longer quite fresh

but not yet withered

You might expect to find it

proudly displayed on our living room table

no .... not so

it´s hiding

shamefully almost

in the furthest, unseen corner of the kitchen

as always ...

every time I come I sigh

"This time we buy a decent vase"

and every time I come 

we don´t

I think I know by now 

we never will

because those flowers

they are forever the hourglass

that times the precious days we spend together

seeing them slowly hang their heads

reminds us only that our time is up ...

again

I think I´ll buy that vase the day 

I come to him with but a one-way-ticket

the day I know I´ll be there long enough

to see those flowers die ....