Hollow Life

Poem I wrote a while back after a contest I made, to include the choice 1 words.

 

I sit in my living room

And watch the blank TV screen,

As I listen to the popcorn

Pop away in the kitchen.

 

“Popcorn; makes me think of life.

Buttery or salty or plain or burnt,

Or of course my favorite,

Kettle corn and sweet,” I say out loud.

 

The microwave beeps,

The popcorn is done;

And of course it is burnt

Like always for me.

 

“Again?! Why!”

I cry into the hollows of my

Darkened kitchen as I

Stare into the blackened bits

Of popcorn.

 

No matter what, it always,

Always burns.

It is this weird

And inescapable cruelty

The world holds against me.

 

I just lost my job

And my husband left,

Taking our three children

With him.

 

I am alone in

This dark empty house.

Nothing but the wind

And my own

Musings to keep me company.

 

“The world hates me. I

Am stuck in an endless

And inescapable cycle

Of destruction,” I

Say to my reflection on

The side of the toaster.

 

I have never been alone.

There has always been someone

To watch over me

And keep me safe from the world.

 

My first taste of this

Bitter-sweet truth has left

Me apart from the world.

I have been sinking into a

Depthless shadow;

It pulls me ever deeper as

I drown in waves of sorrow.

 

“Apart. I am alone in

The wearisome gloom; longing

To be blessed, yet left with

This hell.”

 

I feel my eyes overflow

With the salted droplets I

Never knew before life.

I cried every night,

Every day; I just cried.

 

My tears flavor the bag

Of blackened ash still

In my hands.

It is truly

Impossible,

Improbable,

And inconceivable

How all I do is never right

In this twisted world.

 

I used to only see the world

In a checkered light; us

Good people were white

Little squares,

And the bad people were all

The black little squares.

I was wrong though.

The world is not black and white,

It is grey, or it is just plain black.

 

No one is just good. That

Is the most simple lesson

That I have had the opportunity

To learn.

 

The world is unfinished

In its beauty,

But endless in its tragic and

Insufficient pain.

 

“The world was once kind to me;

Yes you were. You loved

Me for who I was,

And for my innocence.

But you failed me and replaced

My innocence with a

Nightmare that haunts me in the

Daylight.

My pain is so superfluous

And wearisome.

I can no longer just ‘be’

Who I used to be. You took that

Choice away from me.

You took all choices away from me.

My condition of human existence

Is a tortuous race against time;

With time in the lead,

For only time is endless and

Eternal.”

 

I walk to the living room

And I sit in the loveseat

That my one true love once

Held me close to his

Warmth in.

It was there

That each child was conceived,

And there that our love grew.

 

It was on the very

Seat that I now sit in

That he told me he was leaving;

He told me he could no longer

Take care of me,

Me who is so spiteful and

Self-indulgent.

 

I am the guilty one,

I wanted more then life could

Ever allow to me.

I pouted and whined,

I was so childish and so cruel.

 

He left me, my children

Left me;

All I am left to is the darkness,

The bowl of burnt popcorn,

And the hand gun

Sitting on the table before me.

Reviews

[Lexi Nicole]

Interesting poem. Very sad. I felt badly for the speaker. I do love, though, how she compares life to popcorn in the beginning and how the popcorn is the thing she constantly goes back to thinking about. Nice work!

-Howl