Autumn Afternoon

My friend Mary and I went to the park today and discovered something quite astonishing (at least, to us). :)

Lilting laughter rings out

as we pull ourselves through

the sun-framed pines.

 

Misty threads of iridescent splendor

reveal themselves to our eyes.

The complex spirit weave

that was once only mine

reveals itself to her.

A door is opened.

 

Silky webs and deepest green

form a canopy above us,

letting in only slim bars

of the sun's radiance.

 

Shadows under the tree

transform the brown of dirt and needles

into the cool, light indigo hue of twilight.

 

A mighty jump and we're down,

lying in the soft green grass,

watching wispy clouds pass by.

Shapes are seen, some serious, some not,

but all of them make us laugh.

 

Then, a miracle occurs.

In this sun-soaked land

of perpetual warmth,

a chilling Autumn wind flares up.

Within minutes, the new season appears.

 

Looking back and forward,

the evidence is obvious:

Thick, grey clouds.

Bushy-tailed squirrels.

Copper-dusted trees.

Icy, harsh winds.

 

Fall is in the air,

shocking we who have never known it.

The transition is slow,

but our eyes are open now.

The winds of change flow

for the first time in our land of monotony.

We look forward, waiting.

The Beginning has come.

Author's Note

As always, feel free to critique.

Reviews

[Toni Prehoda Kahler]

I'm fascinated by this write, immediately drawn in, curious where you will take me. How lovely to find that the romance is with the pine trees, deep green shadows and the sun, the grass, the clouds --- all of it! I love that you start out with lilting laughter, that you share the details of your intimacy with the natural world, share those very moments you are both caught up in. The "Misty threads" and the "Silky webs" draw me in as well, and I gasp in wonder at the deep green canopy that "..only lets in slim bars/of the sun's radiance.
That the miracle of change occurs in the midst of it all is a marvy metaphor for life's sudden reversals as well as a lovely description of a new season for you. I love the "copper-dusted trees"! And then your ending widens to include all of us who have experienced the slow transition of seasons, or of love.
I did stumble a bit in stanza 4, where the verb "transform" has nothing to connect to: the shadows need to transfer the brown dirt "to" a cool light indigo blue. (imo)
Such a delightful piece! I read it many times and it lifted my mood - thank you.

[Wildfleour]

Justin - As always you wrote a lovely poem. I would love to see you "break out of the box", make yourself enter a type of writing, or topic, that is different for you. Take a chance. Go for it!

[Phoenix Alleena]

Aww, I loved this. That last line, all I could think of was
"That reminds me of Samhain."
I liked reading this; autumn's my favourite. you captured the details
well. Keep up the great work!

[Emily B]

So lovely. I didn't expect the change. Not at all. I think this belongs in my favorites.