Vision

A story-poem about a person who has a vision that gives them hope. I usually don't have characters in my poems, so this was a first. : )

I walk along,

Heedless of anything,

Oblivious to the world

And the people in it.

 

I gaze forward

And enjoy the most

Insignificant things

Like blades of emerald grass.

 

I continue,

On the empty, forest road

Back to the place I came from

And away from the dreams I left.

 

Suddenly,

A flash of iridescence.

My surroundings fade

To be replaced by a vision.

 

I watch,

As it plays out,

Strangely calm and displaced.

My emotions flee me.

 

It ends,

Leaving me stunned.

I falter, then slowly turn

Back to the world, running.

 

Sprinting back,

I reflect on what

The vision showed me.

I realize it wasn't time

To give up.

Author's Note

As always, feel free to critique.

Reviews

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Yes, how hopeful and uplifting in the end. Nicely penned. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Wildfleour]

I really liked this a lot. One comment that someone told me once: Take the "And's out"

[sabrina]

The last stanza is good because it tells you why the person was walking away- "I realize it wasn't time to give up." A nice touch to the poem. In the first three stanzas I feel strangely calm and carefree, probably what you wanted to write. I give it 100%!

[gemma]

this is really cool i hope you write more bout this stuff ur really really good LET YOUR EMOTIONS RUN FREE BRO!!! :)

[Mary Sessions]

Awesome! its a really great poem, and i like the last stanza alot!