Monster

After an arguement with my mom I decided to do a little writing,because what I was feeling was so powerfull, I fealt I needed to explain it.

The story I present to you tonight came to me after a week that  I believed that I had lost everything.

I am a monster.

a pathological monster.

I lie to my piers.

I create drama, and cause others to suffer, knowing full well it is wrong,

why do I do this?

I am a monster.

I have told many that I cut,

I do not.

I have told many I would jump

I am not brave nor stupid enough to do so,

and I say these things knowing full well that they are going to respond,

a negative responce,

stronger, and more meaningfull than a positive one, in my mind.

I am split.

Half of me falls to tears when I hear my friends are cutting, from depression, caused by my drama,

the other half simply laughs.

I am a sick monster.

I am judgemental to the poing past explination,

I want to run from myself and cower in fear,

but i cannot...

for your subconsious cannot leave your concious untill death,

which as I mentioned before,

I cannot do.

Therefor, I shal live, a monster, one who has been the cause of many depressions, the cause of endless scars,

and the fearfull adrenilan pumped through peoples hearts as they take what they believe to be their dying breath.

I am a monster.

and I wish to die.

___________________________________________________________________

Note to my readers, every word of this is true.

Reviews

[Dr. Wood ?]

there seem to be so much pressure put on the young people of today..Agonising amounts..the angst of growing up has worsened ten fold...It is impossible to see the other point of view at a certain age because you KNOW that they are trying to manipulate you..the more stubborn you are the harder it becomes..Easy for me to say, I am at the other end of your life spectrum...Two more things..tiny things..you spelled peers with an ie...and in the 6th from last line you did something I always do and simply missed an 'L' off SHALL
this was heartwrenchingly honest, I hope you have been helped by simply writing this poem

[Sarah]

thank you for your response, i have been feeling this way for a long time and i know i cannot be the only one so i figured that others should know they arent alone.