dream

it is dream like.

 Running scared, running hard, and running fast. Breathless, mind racing yelling for help with no one there. Running faster than I ever thought I could. Running for my life. Going round and round with nowhere to go. Running through and around the same doors and halls trying to find a way out, but with no hope. Searching for the light out of the darkness of this world. Door to door all lock but when some are open it’s only the same dark place inside. Running with no place to hide. No way out. And only to find myself breathless, frightened, alone, hurt. Breathless as I run through the dark halls with no way out.

  I wake up in a panic. Cold sweat ran down my face. Looking in the mirror at my own reflection, frightened. As I get out of bed I shake in fear of the dream I just had. Wondering if that dream will soon be reality. Of just another foolish nightmare of mine. In the darkness of my house I feel something no someone watching me. My body tenses, heart races and the cold sweat comes back again. I don’t dare to turn around. Suddenly my door flies open and I yell.

Then I am silence from a kiss from my girlfriend Zoe. She holds me for a moment then lets me go.

  “Hey, Halie are you alright? What’s the matter?”

  “No, I am so not alright.”

  “Baby do you want to talk about it?”

  “Yes, please!”

  “Was it another nightmare? Was it that bad, where u got this scare?”

 “Yes, it was but I don’t know why it was different from other ones before.”

  “How are they different?”

  “Well it is like I am inside some building and I am running away from something. But I don’t know what; it is like there’s someone chasing after me. And I was running away from it and while I was running I notice that I was in the someplace no matter which way I turn. It felt so real and I didn’t know what to do or think I just got so scared. Then when you just came out nowhere and it scare the death out of me and…and...”

  I began to cry out of fear and insanity. I didn’t know if I was losing my mind or just another nightmare. I really didn’t know what was going on in my life anymore. Was I slowly going mad? Or is it that I am already mad?

   “Halie, calm down everything is going to be okay I promise.”

   “How do you know that Zoe? How?! Everything isn’t going to be okay. It won’t be!”

  “Because I just thing is it a lack of sleep”

  “Well it’s not Zoe! It’s just not!”

   “Well then, what is it, tell me then?”

  “Maybe I am going insane or I am just already insane.”

   “No you’re not going crazy Halie, you’re far from it.”

    “You don’t know that Zoë. You really don’t know what it feels like to be more right now! You really don’t. “

    “Well tell me, then I will know how it feels to be you. All I want is for us to talk about it.”

   “No, because if I do you may not want to be with me anymore. And I am so scared of that.”

    After that I stopped her from saying anything. I just looked her in the eyes. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I just felt like I was losing everything I ever had in these few moments of life.

    “No, you’re wrong Halie, you are way wrong.”

   “What do you mean by way wrong?”

   “I said you’re wrong.’”

    “How am I wrong then?”

   “You’re wrong because won’t leave you. Not even for the nightmares. Not even for this very moment.”

   “Why not then, why would you stay then, why Zoë?”

   “Because I love you, I love all of you, no matter what is it. I love you.”

   “Even this right now, after what I just said. Hoe I’ve acted and you still want to be with me.”

   “Yes I do because I love you. I love all of you. I love your insanity, kindness, weirdness, and just all of you no matter what is it.

  “I love you to and I always will.”

 After that I fell back to sleep with the girl I love in my arms, feeling safe.

 Yelling for help. Running fast, running scared, and running for my life. I don’t know where I am anymore. I don’t know what to do anymore. And I let it get me. It wasn’t darkness trying to get me it was me trying to get me. Trying to tell me something, something very important. I let it me into thoughts of who I really am. What I really want. I’m not scared anymore. I finally let myself be free, but the other me is also telling me how I don’t love Zoë after all. Well what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, not now anyway. Right.

Reviews

[jasmine]

i really don't know how to review this.