I See You, Perfectly

’true love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.’ jason jordan

The house seemed empty to those just entering it. But in reality, a couple sat in the living room, fidgeting and very uncomfortable. One was fearful of the other’s reaction, while the other paced the room like a restless bull. The white walls seemed blinding to the female, her heart racing frantically as she tried to focus on anything that wasn’t him. If she did she knew she would immediately reclaim her words. Apologize instantly, and beg him to forgive her. But she didn’t need his forgiveness.

“Why?” She flinched at his sudden words, even if they were quiet and calm. Slowly, she forced herself to look at him, chocolate eyes meeting muddy off based ones. She licked her upper lip attempting to find the right words, so as not to set him off.

“Because this isn’t fun anymore, Ben, I can’t just sit around and wait for you to get over yourself. I need something more. I need someone who’s going to be sober enough to see me, rather than just f**k me.” The moment the words were out she regretted them. They were harsh, and though they needed to be said, she didn’t want to be the one to say them.

She watched as his brow furrowed, bringing his thick black brows together and scrunching his beautiful eyes. His thick lips parted and she wanted to run to him and wrap her arms around him. In a moment he was at her knees, his hands reaching for hers. She let him take them; let him run his thumb over the base of her palm until she looked him in the eye again.

“But, I’m sober now. Doesn’t that mean anything?” She almost wanted to laugh.

“No, Ben, it doesn’t. Because the minute I take you back you’ll be in the bathroom shooting up again. If you can only stay clean without me, than I’m willing to give you up.” The words hut her throat, thickened it and made it feel as if she were swallowing an icicle. “I’m sorry,” she added.

Slowly, he retracted his hands, running one of them over his face. His fingers came in contact with baby smooth skin and rough stubble. He glanced up at her again, before standing slowly and pressing the tips of his fingers to his lips, in an almost prayer-like gesture. “I don’t know what to do, to make this better.” His voice was almost silent. He turned to look at her again. “I just know that I have to make you stay with me.”

“Ben…” She shook her head, looking down at her own bunched fingers, and the ache in them burned her. She clamped her lips shut as the apologetic words began to rise from her throat like vomit. 

“D****t, Roxanne. You know I can change. You just…you need to give me a chance.”

She was on her feet then, her sorrow disappearing instantly as she glared at the man. Her eyes turning into poisoned daggers, she shook her head angrily. “You think I haven’t tried? I’ve tried so hard to make you stop. But I don’t know you must’ve been high at the time because you never did! You didn’t care enough about me to even bother trying to stop, Ben. But I care about you enough to let you go.”

She swallowed thickly as she watched his face drop. The realization hit him full force that this was really happening. Roxanne smiled sadly at him before closing the gap between them. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand to place on the side of his face. A slow tear made its way down his cheek as he leaned into her touch.

“I’ve been blind this entire time, Ben. But…I see you, perfectly now.”

Author's Note

This was written for a friend of mine on another website. I hope you enjoy. :)

Reviews

[serpent]

a delighful read...
and a wonderful story... very sensual and gives a deep insight of the war going inside Ben's and Roxxane's mind.
The story is not one of those different or unique stories, but it still manages to keep the readers involved because of the way its written.

thanks for sharing.

[Alexis]

beautiful, amazing i love it!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

AWESOME STORY!

[JuliePetunia]

Yes, a strong character! I was having a little war in my head with her, going "Don't stay with him!" Once people are having internal battles after reading your work for 3 minutes, you know it's good. Phenomenal display of struggle and emotion!

[Michael X]

awsome and vampiristically sinsister and sensuous, shadow provocative
implications, it really comes to life in the readers mind, stereographic paragraphing completes the illusion, the plot of immortal disasters
worked well, you have talent, keep up the great work.

[she floats.]

:O
Why haven't I read this yet, Billie? Is it on Mibba? dood, you gotta keep me posted, fo real.

It's the type of story that most people have seen before, but you write it in a way that doesn't make me roll my eyes or become annoyed. I really feel for both of them, honestly. Drugs abuse is one of my favorite subjects to read and write about. When she said she was willing to give him up I was like OMG. Your writing never fails to pull me in.

The only thing I didn't like was that their conversation was the whole thing. That was the point, and it was nice, but there were no OTHER details. I don't know if this makes sense. Let's pretend I know what I'm saying.

Brilliant. (: