Fruition of a Nightmare

Two months ago my friend disappeared without a trace and I run the organized group searches trying to find any trace of her... This is my first attempt at expressing how it feels.

There was a time where I dreamed solely of searching.

Be it for that right book or the perfect word,

I would search all night long, never to tire or quit.

 

Upon waking, I never thought my dream was burdensome.

Just a realistic dream...

Nothing more, nothing less.

 

An analyst might say I was searching for something I lacked,

A singular perfection my subconscious mind thought I was missing in my day to day life...

But sadly I have come to the realization that these dreams were actually ominous foreshadowing.

 

How could I have possibly known that all those years of unburdened searching,

Was really just practice for what was to come...

How could someone even conceive of such a shattering notion?

 

It always was a dream... Just dreams.

It was only when the dream became reality that the nightmare began,

...and the dreams of unburdened searching stopped.

Author's Note

I wanted to be vague on purpose here. I honestly have difficulty dealing with the direct fact that my friend has completely vanished, and not of her own free will. It's a jumble of emotions I haven't found a way to express yet. But I did know about my dreams, and how the constant searching has stopped, and that dream transitioning into reality was a concept I could fixate on and attempt to express myself with.

Please feel free to review honestly. Normally my grammar and spelling are off (hopefully I am improving there), but I would love feedback of any kind!