relapse.

i've been clean for so long, but the longing may win.

the thought of wrecking skin

its much more calming

than it should ever be.

scars make up so much of my being-

mentally, and

physically,

yet I can't find peace with them.

emotional scars eat me alive

everyday.

I can't fight the battles I have with them.

physical scars do nothing but remind me

of my past,

and how much farther I have to go.

the need to find something better,

something that doesn't tear me apart,

is stronger than it's ever been.

the only thing is

I'm a walking disaster,

the Queen of Destruction,

and causing my pain,

is calling my name.