crippling pain

no matter how hard i try, pain always consumes me.

my thoughts-

suffocate me.

I'm alone in a 

crowded room,

yet surrounded by

people.

people who

hate me

but-

all these people are

myself.

my skin screams,

every inch of my being

is searching for something.

something I cannot point a finger at.

why am I like this?

I can't stop these feelings,

but oh, how I wish I could.

to be or not to be

that is the question

that runs through my mind

every second of my damned existence.