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Was just in a mood. A vent writing I suppose...

I feel like I’m gunna be sick

Like the full force of a thousand shots just hit my stomach all at once

Not even a drop and I still taste it in my mouth

Not even a drop and I can still feel every ounce

Like the weight of a thousand worlds just pressing down upon my shoulders

What feels like is crushing me on the outside is actually crushing me from the inside out

“Why aren’t you prettier?”

Self-deprecating just from one look in the fogged glass of the mirror

“Try harder.”

Loathing from just being too tired to take another step

“If you worked harder you could afford to eat.”

Blaming myself when there are just too many bills to pay and putting a roof over my head is more important than putting food in my mouth

“Why are you always alone?”

Knowing you can’t have friends because that would interfere with just barely getting by

“There is something wrong with you.”

Knowing there is an answer that you just can’t seem to find and you’re just so tired at grasping at straws and you are just inches from giving up

Just want to scream at the world that you need help

That you are drowning in a sea of your own problems without a life-raft in sight

But instead you bottle in down and keep it to yourself

But that bottle can only take so much more of your own self-loathing before it too gives from the pressure

Exploding outward because like you it was being crushed from the inside out

Waiting for it to erupt is all you can do

Like Mount Vesuvius you’re a ticking time bomb waiting to blow but on the outside no one knows

Wear a mask

Keep it down

Laugh it off

Smile so that no one knows how much you are truly hurting inside

Smile and just maybe you can keep going for a little while longer…

Author's Note

I don't really write poetry.
I even think the it ends kind of abruptly, but the mood was lost...

Reviews

[Mel Lisa]

awesome piece. I really enjoyed it. can so relate

[Silent_S C R I P T]

Thank you very much.

[Devesh]

The ending is not abrupt at all. I enjoyed reading it thoroughly, could relate to some of the things you mentioned, especially the last few lines. Thanks for sharing! :)

[Silent_S C R I P T]

Thank you :)

[Devesh]

You're most welcome! :)