Sweetly Poisoned Blasphemy

Speeding through my veins like a lethal overdose
Memories of you flicker by and are soon replaced
Only by more thoughts of you stacked one atop the other
Each one a happier time overriding the pain I want erased

I want to cry out for you and fall back into the past
A black and white film I watch and rewind just before the end
But this time I’ll resist the temptation you breathed into me
I won’t forgive the damage for which you cannot amend

But the itching and the racing heart are signs of withdrawal
And I want to- need to see your face once more
Just one quick little fix to make me feel normal again
But I know if I do I’ll just become the addict I was before

I know I have the strength and yet I am weakening
Breaking down, I’m afraid I’m going to cave in
Just need to make it through one day at a time
But right now I’m feeling sick of the way this world has begun to spin

I crave the way you made me feel and how you spoke sweet words
Holding me in your arms that were a second home to me
But now it’s cold and empty with an overpowering darkness
And because of you I’m broken internally

I’m trying so hard to hold on to this broken glass reality
But I can’t help but desire your perfect fantasy
But I have to give you up for the life of me
Farewell my sweetly poisoned blasphemy

Reviews

[clisa]

I understand the pain you are going through after reading this which is good - you communicated it well. The one thing that is not clear to me is the word blasphemy - it doesn't seem to come up in the poem until the end and their is not explanation for it in the poem. I wish you would have put that at the beginning and explained how blasphemy figured into your relationship, or how it relates to this particular person. It is a potent word with specific meaning, but I can't find any connection to your poem.