The Moon and a Black Hole

He is so dazzling and beautiful like the moon

and I know I'll probably kill myself before I'm twenty two

He has so much to live for, so much potential

and I'm just a nobody, useless and cynical

I wanted to know him, be his friend, perhaps more

but I ended up rotting him before it reached his core

He was sweet like candy, generous and forgiving

He was my one and only reason for living

but then it became too much; I made him go crimson

He told me loved me, but I was his poison

He put me back together, an unbroken Humpty Dumpty 

how ironic it is, I broke him for I am an atrocity

I know he is strong, he'll get better with time

and I've run away to save him, destroying him was my crime

I know I didn't deserve him; he was such a good guy

There's only one place for me to go, it's time to say goodbye.

Author's Note

I'm not too good with rhymes but I thought I'd give it a shot.
Constructive criticism is welcome.

Reviews

[Johanna]

You are great with rhymes! I actually realli liked this poem.. it was very sad though, but very good. I write a lot of sad ones myself, and I think rhyming is really beautiful, I like it without also, but not good at it myself, creds to those who can do both :) Very great job!

[Chris Micha]

I really like this and the raw emotion it possesses. Great job, Shay!

[Shay]

Thanks :)

[SabrinaThePoet]

"He put me back together, an unbroken Humpty Dumpty
how ironic it is, I broke him for I am an atrocity"

I like that line and great poem.

[Shay]

Thanks :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Shay, this shows great delicacy and precision as a poet, well done, keep working.

[Shay]

Thank you :)

[Justin]

I thought the rhymes were good myself

[Shay]

Thanks :)

[Sami Khalil]

A deserving poem indeed. I enjoyed the read. Bravo

[Shay]

Thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)............