Revenge

this is another short story for my bullying theme. I hope you enjoy.

sarah just moved here from kentucky but she don't know what people are going to be like at her new school.

One day she sees a girl named maranda getting bullied and joins in on the fun they beat her till she can't move.

 An ambulance comes to take the maranda to the hospital and she makes it just in time.

A couple weeks later maranda comes back to school and everyone is still picking on her she runs to the bathroom to cry and leaves school.

 She then gets home and locks herself in her room and wonders to herself why the girls at school are so crude.She has finally had enough and plans her revenge.

She will get back at the girls at school the next day maranda came in and she had a gun she shot sarah six times and the other girls twice.Now the girls who were so crude know how it feels to walk in her shoes.

Author's Note

tell me what you think of this story please.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

even though this isn't the first time we have heard this story...and you don't use caps (i never use caps, if others can't get past that they can go grade 5th grade English for a living) this story is just fine. however, i would build up the characters more...especially the main girl and i would give more detail on the harassment and subsequent revenge...then you will have a strong story no one can criticise

[sierrasparks91]

thank you very much i appreciate it.

[quinfinn]

:)

[b.platte]

Okay, So this wasn't a bad story... but it's been told a hundred and one times.
Which is why it seemed a little uninteresting when it finally came to an end.

Also, it was a little hard to read because of the grammar. There were no Caps when needed and there were some run-on sentences that I had to pause for and make sure I was reading right. So, I know people hate to hear about their grammar, but it really does change the experience of the read if it is well written.

I liked the message you were sending, though.