Love and Pain

This poem isnt the best just give me some ideas on how to change it.

When i see you i get those butterflies

Your eyes sparkle like the bright blue sky

When you hold me close i never wanted you to let go

That is why it hurts so bad

I feel the pain inside my eyes

your fading now and im starting to cry

was it my fault we got into a little fight

the night before you died in that horrible crash

I visit your grave ten times a year

One night i couldn't take it and i just wanted to die

i took a knife and sliced away the pain

i open my eyes to see you again

the feeling of love and hatred

Will never remain the same

for your gone to a better place

And i am here to blame

Our love so strong but our hatred even stronger

i must endure this pain

 

Reviews

[Acropolix]

You open by expressing the emotion of love with vivid imagery. Noticing such gradual developmen the ending uses a far faster pace, which in my opinion weakens the ending compared to the beginning of the poem. Perhaps you could add some more details as to how the feeling of love changes into grief and misery with the climax of suicide. I believe this poem has a strong tenseness and thrill, but you can exploit it more by expressing the gradual change in feelings.
I like the poem, let's not make mistake about that! Nice work! The content is very surprising and weighted with emotions!