Becoming

Facing the demon that is us...

Crimson eyes, crimson horns

Cold light of sadness, emanating

From his very bones

He looks to me, in

Melancholy

All the anguish, seeping

It clutches at my throat.

 

He points to my chest

My heart, he holds

In a steely grip, deathly

Threatens me to shatter, into

Oblivion

All that I stand for

All that I long for.

 

He strengthens his grip

I scream out in agony

As all I hold dear

Turns into utter

Decay

I long for peace

I long for serenity.

 

“Look in the mirror

And you will see

The darkness of your

World, the ever spreading

Disease

Look inside your heart

Look inside your soul.”

 

I gaze at the mirror, confounded

My heart in my palm, throbbing

Wild in agony, in rage

At what I’ve become, the

Demon

With the crimson eyes

And the crimson horns.

Author's Note

not my best effort, I know but just felt like writing something about the demon we have inside us..tell me what you think!

Reviews

[DrD]

I agree . . . . not your best effort and I didn't like the use of "smithereens." Think of it this way, Sid . . . . in a moment of splendor you write the immortal verse that is published and is on library shelves across the world. In a hundred years, will the reader recognize "smithereens?" Let's be honest, what do we strive for? That touch of literary immortality that we have to guard with good word selections.

[Sid]

Thank you for the review Dr., I'll see if I can find a word better suited in the place of smithereens and as always I'm glad for your review!

[Damien Davison]

You are a natural, very talented. Even if this wasn't your best effort, the way your writing process works in your brain is that of a true writer/poet. I enjoy your work!

[Sid]

Thank you!

[Mia]

We are those demons within us that scare us. No point in running, we can hide from them. it is a very scary thing and this piece has that feel...there was something unnerving about it. I thought it was a great write and while I'll admit this isn't my favourite of yours...I still think you did great and you shouldn't sell yourself short :)

[Sid]

Thank you Mia, I do feel it's not my best by I somehow feel it's not that bad either, so thank you for the read and review, I appreciate it as always!!

[Mia]

It isn't that bad...at ALL, so I'm glad you see that! My pleasure Sid :)

[Sid]

Thank you again Mia :)

[Mia]

:)

[JiDonnelly]

This is a true masterpiece!!
I simply love it, Where it had taken me!
Subbed', Rated', Shelved!!
personal favourite by far so far.

-JiDonnelly'

[Sid]

Thank you, glad you like it!!

[Dr. Wood ?]

It aint as bad as you think, I feel it compares well with your other works

[Sid]

Thank you Doc, it's good to know that!!

[quinfinn]

love this write, it has all the elements of a good duality horror story in real time. i think oblivion or even nothingness would fare much better than the "smithereen" thing but it is your write, not mine. overall i feel this is an excellent poem. i was enthralled and entertained.

[Sid]

I've been thinking of a substitute for smithereens and I thought of oblivion but wasn't sure, I'll use it now since you mentioned it too. Thank you for the read and review, I'm glad you like it!!

[Salar Majak]

wow, it sent a chill up my spine, thrilling,dark and beautiful,

I gaze at the mirror, confounded
My heart in my palm, throbbing
Wild in agony, in rage
At what I’ve become, the
Demon

these lines truly stood out for me
keep going. i'm looking forward to reading more :)

[Sid]

Thank you, glad you like it!! :)

[PP]

One thing I have noticed and it is a reality that I always rely on, man can invent many new things of classic innovation. We can admire and see God and Man's horrid/ beautiful creations with our own eyes, but the only thing one's bare eyes can never caputre, is the sight of one's own face! May be that is the reason why we find it hard sometimes to realise what a Devil we have become, unless a quality mirror reflects to say so! Great concept...P

[Sid]

Thank you, glad you like it!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. I like when the tables are turn. I like the flow of the story and the very good ending. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Sid]

Thank you again Coyote, your time is much appreciated!!

[An owl on the moon]

What a brilliant darkness you paint in the heart and mind... And yes, there are times when I don't want to look in the mirror for fear of what I might see behind my eyes... Stunning poetry!

[Sid]

Thank you Craig, glad you like it!!