The truth of the lie

I wrote this when I was thinking of how many times I '"lie" telling people I am fine when actually I'm not!

The smoke hits my throat, the burn of the lie mixes with the burn of the tobacco, 
Stinging my eyes and making me feel like less of a person,
When the woman sitting across the table asks are you okay I commit treason
To tell her the truth, to stop with the lies, for her to know you and that look in your eyes 

My love for you now is so strong and so true
The truth may hurt but be the saving of you
For the steps you are taking the road that you travel
Is creating a problem and I've watched you unravel

You will scream, shout and kick, I will feel your frustration
In a punch or a word that you scream as you hate me
Though I know you don't mean to hurt or to scare me
The pain you inflict will do more than just scar me

For never can anyone else cause the pain
That you have inflicted again and again
Yet each day I will be there, I will stay by your side
I never could turn my back on you, you're my child

A lost little boy your autism consumes you
And now we need help - new ways to amuse you

So the social worker sitting right over the table
To whom I tell of my pain and frustration
Offers support and the hand of a friend
And I take it for you, because its on me you depend.

Author's Note

Please ignore punctuation etc. I write 'in the moment' how I feel and this tends to be on my iPhone notes x