You...the best thing ever happened

You make me smile..when I cry..
To be with you everyday I try.
Without seeing you my day doesn't end
You are the best thing ever happened
You are the reason, for I wake up every morning
You are my only priority, for i am living
Life before you was plain and dull
You made it bright and beautiful
My promise to you,there will never be any anger
I'll be a wall and protect you from danger
I'll take all your pains,for me they are no stranger
For you are my heart, my soul, my whole world I could never afford to loose ..I'll love you forever and ever...

Reviews

[JayG]

A minor point: The ellipsis is three, not two dots.

° You make me smile..when I cry..

Something to think about: What's in it for the reader? Someone we know nothing about told someone not introduced that they make him/her smile for unknown reasons. Me telling you what I had for breakfast is just as interesting to you as that declaration is to a reader, who needs context as-they-read, not supplied afterward.

So, while this is meaningful to you, is it meaningful to the reader? Remember, there is no second first-impression.

In general, it's a bad idea to talk TO the reader. That's a nonfiction approach, and devoid of emotion. But emotion is the reason we read poetry and fiction—with the emotion in question being that which the words evoke in the reader. That's why, instead of telling the reader that we cried at a funeral, we work to give the reader reason to weep. And we cannot do that with the report-writing nonfiction skills of our school-days.

That takes the emotion-based and character-centric approach of the poet and fiction-writer. our goal is to make the reader feel and care, not be well informed on your life, or how you feel today. As readers we're selfish. We read for our pleasure, not to hear about yours.

Make sense?

Use your words well and you have the power to make someone you will never meet sigh with contentment, weep, or laugh. But to do that you need to know your reader, and what makes them react. You need to know a few tricks that the people who achieve degrees in the field take for granted. In other words, become a poet.

But since it's something you want to do, it's certainly not hard labor. So dig into the tricks and secrets of the poet. One suggestion is to look at what Mary Oliver has to say in her book, a Poetry Handbook, which you can download, here:
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

The Shmoop site is also a good resource, with lots of great poetry analyzed in depth. Log in as Student, then use the midpage button to select Poetry.

But whatever you do, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/