I shall weep no more

I SHALL WEEP NO MORE

Although you left me'

after you said you loved me

But my love was never wan

Yes, my thoughts on love were wrong

like the meanings of a mediocre love song

those which makes you high through your heart

You didn't even considered me a friend

You just wanted me to keep on all fours

like a bloody domesticated pet to you

who with no regret, would do your chores

But don't worry my darling

I shall weep no more

I shall let you go far away

As far as you can go away from me

where the shreds of my broken heart

you will never ever be able to see

The jigsaw puzzle you left there

will forever remain incomplete

I won't try to fill those gaps

nor for your love, I shall compete

I won't give you curses

Your own doings will pay you back

So long will you be toned in sadness

you will lose sight of the happiness's track

That's why I shall carnage

your every memories

Your every image

I shall burn 

and hope for the day

when your fate will take a turn

and will make you kneel down

with melancholy at the purgatory's door

And that is why my long-forgotten darling

I shall weep no more

Author's Note

The poem might make you believe that I am being sexist but the morale of my poem holds for both men and women

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

This doesn't make me believe you're sexist in the least, I think you are projecting that expectation for reason's you will have to personally reconcile on your own. This does sound like your sadness gave way to bitterness and a hope for payback, which is helpful to no one - especially yourself. You also contradict yourself in the second to last stanza in a way that betrays a lack of self awareness … "I shall let you go far away" and then finishing with "and hope for the day/ when your fate will take a turn/ and will make you kneel down/ with melancholy at the purgatory's door". You're not letting anything go if you are hoping for "melacholy at purgatory's door". Do you want to forget about this person and move on or do you want them to suffer? You can't have it both ways.

I think once you mature a bit you will find that relationships are rarely a one sided affair. Unless it's a plain old psychotically abusive relationship the blame usually lies with both parties to an extent, not necessarily in equal proportions but rarely is one side perfectly innocent. And to make it even more difficult we rarely remember highly emotional things for what they truly were until a significant amount of time has passed. Emotions, especially wounded feelings, tend to distort the reality of a situation.

As far as the writing goes, and I've mentioned this before, you have a problem with word economy. This reads less like poetry and more like sentence fragments without punctuation.

[Shubham Sharma]

Well you can say that making sentence fragments without punctions is my writing style and you did decipher the narration well. Yes the narrator is an immature person who lacks clearity on what he is supposed to do - let her go or get revenge. And he wants to do both.

[Shubham Sharma]

By the way the way you analyse the poetry is pretty much like a real critique. Are you really a critique or someone pursuing English literature in real life?. Because man you criticise the poems with frankness, absolute frankness. That's why there may be some who have grudge against you. But I don't know why I wait for your reviews.

[Davidgeo]

Sentence fragments without punctuation isn't a style, it's just bad grammar.

Everyone's a critic. Some people are just too afraid to say anything negative out of fear of being disliked or because they only review things to get others to review them in return. I don't care about those things so much. The large majority of "top reviewers" on this site try and hide behind the notion that reviews like mine are just "trolling" but it's very obvious to me that's just the popular excuse for the aforementioned motivations. Being critical isn't trolling if it makes sense, perhaps I could be nicer about it by that would be disingenuous.... there's already more than enough fake people on this site.

[Shubham Sharma]

HaHaHaHa so true.
And note that if a person puts more than two text in Haha's he is really laughing.

[Abhishek Izy]

I don't think you're being sexist and I believe that an artists on a broader perspective shouldn't be measured with such social equation else he can write his heart no more.

This work is beautiful in its own sad ways. The feeling of that pulsating anguish inside is so well portrayed. Its a very human feeling on display here with all its rawness. Great write

[Najam Us Saher]

Couldn't be more perfectly written. Loved the way you have poured your emotions and in the end you gather courage and say that you will weep no more.

[barleygirl]

Your poem doesn’t seem sexist at all. This could be for either gender. My favorite lines are the ones in the first stanza about keeping me on all fours, a bloody domesticated pet to do your chores. That’s one of the most intensely stated & truthful statements I’ve heard in a break-up poem. To be honest, I would enjoy more of this kind of straightforward statements rather than the more artful kind (as in the second stanza) where the meaning isn’t as clear & powerfully blunt (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Shubham Sharma]

Thank you. I don't know what is happening to me these days. The failed adventures of my romantic quests are filling my head. And instead of writing dark and experimental poems I am writing these babbles

[barleygirl]

If we don't write it out, it keeps popping up!

[Les Chats Heureux]

Hiya, is there a name for this kind of poem ? The construction ?

[Shubham Sharma]

I don't know. I just write what I want without any particular laws or protocols to follow. I don't even know if this can truly be called a poem.

[¿]

I love the writing where a main character fights back....that too not by hand fight or attacks but in a hearty way and sure that it'll affect the one who hurt him/her!!
All the agony described in a calm way also the promise of not weeping any more was outstanding...and even the promise wasn't to the harmer but to the main character himself/herself..
Great read Shubham😊