The end of my young romantic tale

I was 10 years love when I began to somewhat understand the concept of love. Some of it came from the movies others in from the daily soaps my parents used to watch. At such a tender age, I wanted to love and be loved. But I was quite shy and would be too flustered to speak to any girl. But I do have my share of romance to tell. I was visiting my native place. My grandfather owns a huge mansion. But because the family members have gone to different parts of the country due to their jobs it's mostly empty. And rummaging around the house, I find this photo of a very pretty girl standing on the meadows wearing polka dot frock. I was captivated beyond words. I took the picture and hid it in my room. I didn't knew who the girl was. I would dream about her. I would imagine she was my wife and we would act like those kids who played house. You know the game where you pretend to be husband and wife and if there are more friends they become child and even pet sometimes. Well, I was on my own special hunt for the girl. I tried to find her as hard as I could and as far as my legs would carry. But sadly she never turned up. My parents were beginning to suspect that there was something wrong with me. Parent's suspect when the child would poop on the wrong side of the toilet. And here was I journeying outside my home in the scorching days of summer and I wouldn't eat the necessary proportions of food. My mom gave me quite a scolding and I went to sleep in my room crying, hugging the cute girl's picture by my side. It is quite common for a mother to console his son after rebuking him and so came my mum. And as she began to say "Sorry" she looked at the picture I held and she smiled. I was vexed "Why are you laughing" I said "Is it because she is more beautiful than you" and pointed to the girl in the picture. My mom laughed some more "Yes, and that is because she has grown up". And I couldn't understand her. But the next sentence she said made my blood run cold and so ended my romantic story.
She told "That is my picture that my father took when I was a child".

Author's Note

It's a bit childish. It's not one of my serious work. But I wrote this when I was doing a challenge of writing prompts. Your review will help me understand do I have what it takes to weave a story in an instant.

Reviews

[Riddhi]

I liked the story...I felt it quite funny to be true...And now i am actually imagining if this happens with someone then what???Even the child says to her mom that is she vexed because that girl in photo is beautiful than her...Haha...It would be among those works which can make anyone laugh even if that person is sad...Seriously...It just happened with me...I really liked it..
Keep on writing..

[Shubham Sharma]

Thank you. Reviews like yours are what keeps me going. Do read my other works too.

[Riddhi]

I am happy to hear that from you..I am eager to read your other works too..

[Vikas]

No doubt,it's very short good ending story.

[Soraya]

I think it's perfect, this is a perfect short story, the ending had surprised and amused me, and I think that children can imagine themselves in love easily, I myself imagined myself in love with a cartoon, Edouard in the anime Fullmetal alchemist, so I get totally the story, keep it on

[Shubham Sharma]

Thank you. I myself got inspired to write when I began to see the anime. Because they have so many experimental plots and such good dialogues. But I generally don't like Action anime. I am more drawn towards romantic and thriller Animes.

[B Peterson]

Love stories are often told from the perspective of a young girl. I appreciate that you told the story from the the perspective of a young boy. It seemed to have a personal connection as well.

[barleygirl]

This is a great little vignette. I felt your entire story flowed from start to finish & your ending twist worked out well. You share just the right amount of details to carry your story onward & reveal the life of your characters, but everything is also cut down to a minimum amount of words, which can work well in today's world where online readers don't have long attention spans. There are a few places where you use the word "would" in combination with a verb -- this makes the writing in passive voice. If you just use the verb alone, then you get active voice (makes your writing sound more dynamic). Example: "I would imagine she was my wife and we would act like kids playing house" . . . "I imagined . . . and we acted like kids" -- makes for more direct sentences without using "would". Toward the end you write: "it is quite common for a mother to console his son . . . " -- this last "his" should be "her" (referring to mom). Other than these little points of English structure, your storytelling is enjoyable! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Shubham Sharma]

Yeah. My grammatical mistakes have become too much to bear now. So I am currently talking a break from writing to tone and polish my grammar. I would like to write a much better story soon.

[¿]

This is that group story right?! Interesting😊