Begging for sunshine

My soul is so corroded

Rusted is my skin

He gave me a gift

Which led my purity to die within

How is it possible that

Being human he lost humanity

How could he carnage my trust

my hope, my pride, my sanity

I can't step out of this semi-prison

Because I don't want to be touched again

But my heart has been in dark so long

It begs to see the sunshine again

Hours pass, I cry everyday 

His life goes on normally

My parents blame me so does society

Men are men they say, but even

women don't understand my anxiety

After a long time I did sensed something

Something out of nowhere snapped in me

My psyche became a parlor of demons

And I did let the devil reside in me

I took the knife from the kitchen

and starts to go towards his home

He is crucified to see me, and I 

take out the knife and pierce it in his collarbone

His elixir of life slowly bleeds away

and I know I will never be the old me again

I know I was wrong, I hate my new self

But I'll be able to see sunshine again

Reviews

[¿]

Whenever a person faces drop out in the next start up he/she may become the legend of softness or the cruel in society!
Here the new self will surely touch sunshine again by sacrificing a satan in the last darkest night....However now her burden will rise more to handle the rest of critiques...,actually criticism!
Strong penned!

[Riddhi]

I actually loved your poem..It was actually a heartbreaking piece for me and actually liked the way you expressed your emotions and your thoughts in this poem...Actually there are very few writers , whose words are as strong as their emotions and their idea and i must say you are one among those..I was touched by many lines and words in your poem and especially the word "SEMIPRISON"..i loved the way you played with words in this brilliant piece of yours and yes i must say , this poem is going to be my today's favourite poem...
Keep on writing and thanks for sharing...
Riddhi

[Shubham Sharma]

Yes although my vocabulary isn't that strong now, I want to enhance it more so that I could show more diverse narration in my poems.

[Riddhi]

And i must say you were successful in your mission ...

[Davidgeo]

I would use "ravage" instead of "carnage" on line 7

[Najam Us Saher]

So painful. You express your emotions really well.

[barleygirl]

This is a realistic-sounding story with a touch of the macabre (which I love). Sometimes dreary heartbreak stories get to be old news on this website. But in this story, you’ve transformed some sad experience into a creative & dramatic storyline. To me, that’s the best way to deal with bad life experiences. I always feel better after I’ve killed off some jerk (in a story, that is) some person who hurt me in real life! Then I can go on & continue my happy life, letting go of this bad experience. Your story is intense & believable, so we are cheering for the narrator when she finally takes out her distress on the right target! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[Shubham Sharma]

Thank you barleygirl(if that's your true name, although it's cute)

[barleygirl]

I've had many dogs over the years, but my very favorite dog was named "Barley" (1992-2004).

[Shubham Sharma]

Oh. I adore animals, way much than humans. But I like cats much better. I think they have more self-reliance than dogs.

[barleygirl]

I hate cats becuz they are so independent! I am also independent, but I want dogs who are devoted to me! *smile*