Slave of Depression

A slave of depression I am
and loneliness is my friend
Happiness is a thing of past
no more than a frustrating fiend
Since my life has coaxed me into the gloom
Web of sadness entrap me coarsely
The heart breaks and pain blooms
Causing the soul to ache thwartly
A slave of depression I am
Who's sold his spirit to death
and mourns corsage of tears 
after sulky sober aftermath 
Pinning to loose myself
And leave for perfect heaven
Far away from this pathetic neither world
Where abdication of purity, anytime can happen
Dark Darker and Darkest
The hours flying by remains same
For not a common person 
But a slave of depression I am

Author's Note

I wrote this poem as fast as i can to ponder whether i really have the in born creativity in me to write or not. Please give impartial reviews.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is amazingly good for just jotting it down as quickly as you could. There’s much artful writing here, not just a dreary depression dump, like one might think would happen. You use many creative metaphors (“corsage of tears”) and other dramatic word choices (“dark darker darkest”). I have a few corrections if you don’t mind . . . otherwise, all good! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Line 6: entrap should be entraps
Line 13: pinning should be pining
and loose should be lose
Line 15: neither should be nether
Line 18: remains should be remain

[Shubham Sharma]

This is one of my works that I wrote in go-with-the-flow style. I read a prompt and started to jot down the words that came in my mind.

[barleygirl]

This is one of the best I've seen . . . I'm usually critical of people who only write by dumping out mindless words with no editing. But as an exercise, you killed it!

[Najam Us Saher]

You made depression sound beautiful like you are proud of it, I liked this. It reminds of my poem 'happy being sad' where such emotions are exprrssed and I conclude that I am happy being sad, I feel that's what you did here, good one.

[Pragati Chaudhary]

That's a lot on Heartbreaks and sadness
Depression is a Phase of Sins committed by us at some point in our life
so only one can move away from the feeling of being depressed
i guess!

[Robert Kohlhammer]

A spiritual and deep peace, very reflective in your observations of yourself as you flow with the feelings that you perceive around you.