Weak, weaker, weakest

This was my first attempt at writing a song. Hope you like it !

[INTRO]

Everyday ... I feel alone,
As I lay awake ... in my home,
My strength is fading fast ... I can take no more,
I am screaming your name ... now my throat is sore.

[PRE CHORUS]

My heart keeps on beating for you,
Every beat keeps on pleading for you ...
Reach out to me, I'll reach for you,
And now this is why I tell you ...

[CHORUS]

'Caus I am weak , every time I see you ...
Now I am weak , that's when I need you ...
And I get weaker , When I fall for you ...
But the weakest, without you ...

[VERSE 1]

Every word that I tell you is real,
No wound in my heart would seem to heal,
I keep on bleeding as I say,
Alone I can't go all the way.

If you could hold my hand,
I'd feel alive again,
Take me all the way,
And live all through the day.

[PRE CHORUS]

My heart keeps on beating for you,
Every beat keeps on pleading for you ...
Reach out to me, I'll reach for you,
And now this is why I tell you ...

[CHORUS]

'Caus I am weak , every time I see you ...
Now I am weak , that's when I need you ...
And I get weaker , When I fall for you ...
But the weakest, without you ...

[VERSE 2]

When I look into my past ...
I don't see you there,
The thought of future,
Brings back the deep stark fear.

For once look through my eyes ...
And see the world I made for you,
Cut away from the web of lies,
That invite you in, then never let you through.

[PRE CHORUS]

My heart keeps on beating for you.
Every beat keeps on pleading for you...
Reach out to me, I'll reach for you.
And now this is why I tell you ....

[CHORUS]

'Caus I am weak , every time I see you ...
Now I am weak , that's when I need you ...
And I get weaker , When I fall for you ...
But the weakest, without you ...

Author's Note

This was my first attempt at writing a song. Please go easy on this one ...

Reviews

[Chandra Sekhar Vedula]

nice emotional touch!! liked it!! :)

[Craba]

I really enjoyed this write, strong emotional read. Like it alot

[Shreyas Tripathy]

Thanks a lot :)

[B30]

Definitely felt like a song when you arranged them in pre-chorus, intro, etc. It felt very organised.

When you ended with 'But the weakest, without you ...' it felt like it needed a high note in a good way. :D

Other than that, it was very in depth. I liked some phrases such as, 'Brings back the deep stark fear', 'Cut away from the web of lies', 'No wound in my heart would seem to heal'. These are great phrases in an emotional song and really spoke to heart!

:D

[Shreyas Tripathy]

Thanks ! I guess ... When I'm truly heartbroken, I write the best :P
Still this being my first attempt, I need reviews.. Thank you

[B30]

Let's not forget you entered this in a contest :D

[Shreyas Tripathy]

oh ! yes I forgot :P