Entrapment

A veil of brambles eclipses the sun
My frantic clawing dies in crimson hands
The moon is strangled as cold Night commands.
On charred embers of Hope I blindly run

A claustrophobic haze: the day is done
The water has abandoned parching sands
The withering glory of these tortured lands
In crumbing crystal memories is woven

Can stern resolve then forge a battering ram
When golden fields of goals are set ablaze?
Now stagnant are the brooks where Beauty swam

Yet glides a Swan whom mires did not faze
A drop of sanity in rank bedlam
In search of wings for transcending this maze

Reviews

[Devons]

I really admire the rhyme and scan of this poem, as well as the quality of its translucent imagery and language. It occurs to me when reading such work, that when the real engineering of poetry is set in motion the smoothness of its running when executed well is the heart of its work in making it a success. Serious, well calculated poetry achieves the attention of the reader and thus acquires the bulk of their comprehension and willingness to see what is really being said.
This poem certainly achieves that.

[Liza]

i felt a subtle suffocation through protection of not being appreciated and finding a place to call home, imagery blends with emotions igniting imagination.

[Hotwater]

Captivating poetry, sounds like you're trying to escape, to reach for something... just out of reach, but then the calm of the last stanza.
*bird*

[Demi Rose]

this poem is a beaut. love ur words.

Outstanding words, true part of the reality, and great imagery... you took me with the poem, it's the way I like to read pure art. Thanks for sharing.

~ Elisa Laura

[emmajoy]

There's a deep flow of thought running through this post, an underlying event or events, hurtful, worrying .. tbut then, sweet then, hope gentles the horizon. I've read this three times, each time paused at this or that line when the piece seems to gasp for some reason but perhaps your thoughts build up to such a power, that's how it has to be. Thank you for sharing.

[Dinesh Sairam]

I loved the phrases - "Now stagnant are the brooks where Beauty swam" and "In search of wings for transcending this maze".. But one thing I feel is, surrealistic imagery don't go with Sonnets at all.

Otherwise, you have the language, the diction and the meter (I do think you stress a tad too much of that one. I'd happily sacrifice rhythm for a better wording) together. So yeah, this is very good, but for me, it'd have been better in some other format.

Keep writing.

[Ruth]

This is absolutely divine!
Beautifully spun and woven into a glorious poem :)
Is the drop enough to allow thoughts and dreams to feel some relief and glide at times?
So poignantly reflective and universal at the same time...you are an extremely talented writer :)
xx