The Tombstone of Time

These were the meadows where I played
The grass was tall, the grass was green
And on the singing breeze it swayed
When years were chaste and days serene

This was the earth, I know the smell
The smell which filled me when it rained
And yet as far as I can tell
The bond with her has now been strained

Here lie my roots, here I have grown
When sunlight still could court the leaves
Like vacant dreams the days have flown
Now Time stands still and my heart grieves

The sun still shines, I feel no heat
The rain pours down, but I am dry
A dreary walk on a darkened street
A shadowed thought, a wistful sigh

For every second breathes its last
Alike its worse and better half
Upon the Tombstone of our Past
Memories are the Epitaph

Reviews

[Alessander]

The structure is more, well, Augustan (abab) than Romantic, but the theme is definitely Wordsworthian - a loss of the natural awe of nature, or a loss of innocence in general, mingled with a Keatsian swan dive into mortality. The meter and rhyme were suberb, very well crafted. I no longer bother to scan you, which is the greatest compliment I can give a formal author, and which makes my reading that much more enjoyable. I did notice a curious pattern though, not just in this work, but in your others, and that is that you tend to end many of your lines with verbs...on the one hand, it lends the line more gravity and symmetry, but on the other hand, it can lead to monotony. This particular piece is not the latter, but something to keep your eye on. The formalist book advocates a changing of grammatical structure to vary it up lol
The fourth stanza is my fav, and to be honest, I thought the last stanza kind of anti-climaxed from it, perhaps due to the change from the natural landscape to the inner one, though I do appreciate the connection. Maybe another stanza, or refrain, to loop back to nature? Odd, this is almost the opposite of my "Hymn to Nature" even though it shares many sentiments...

[J. Marc]

Very nice and evocative piece of writing indeed! The smell of the earth after a rainfall is very familiar to me too and the ethereal feeling of melancholy certainly is honoring those English poets that inspired you: the more we know how life goes, the greater this melancholy to see rejuvenation in earth.

[Coyote Poetry]

Time is a funny thing. It is far away and very near. I like the beginning. The description of a good earth and pleasure memories. A very powerful ending. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Your rhyme and meter are perfection personified! My heart literally jumps with joy to see someone else who cares to so deftly craft his work into a piece of art. I am honored to have had the pleasure.

Linda Marie Van Tassell

[Dinesh Sairam]

Sadness accompanies beauty, how weird! You've done a masterpiece, it's so obvious..

"And on the singing breeze it swayed
When years were chaste and days serene"

The word 'were' instill in a strong fashion, the sadness hidden within.

"The sun still shines, I feel no heat
The rain pours down, but I am dry"

Irony, at it's best!

"Upon the tombstone of our Past
The memories are Epitaph"

Personification to end a perfect poem.. Well done.

Keep writing.

[deeps]

This is amazing, so well written and so full of wonderful emotion.
I like this.

[Ruth]

Wow!
The last stanza is stunning wording! Blows the mind!
This is a wonderful piece of writing friend, I am simply invited towards the melancholic beauty of memories and nostalgia!
Hugs xx

[floarealbastra10]

this paints a sad but beautiful picture

[Abdul Aziz]

What can I say? This is simply outstanding. You've outdone yourself, if such a thing was possible!

The write seemed to combine many emotions in one. There is breathtaking imagery, scenes of exuberant happiness, and finally, scenes of sadness and regret. It is a tour de force of metric skill.

"When years were chaste and days serene"
This line looks so innocuous, but I think it is a masterpiece. The way you've chosen your words so appropriately is simply awesome.

"When sunlight still could court the leaves"
Mesmerising. I wish I could write something as good as this!

"For every second breathes its last"
I wonder how you thought of this. Brilliant.

"Upon the tombstone of our Past
The memories are Epitaph"
I think there should be an article "the" before Epitaph, and the article before "memories" can be removed. Just my two cents. But the thought is again outstanding.

It is a joy to read your poems, bro. Like the Romantic Poets of yore. I see them alive in your poems :) And I meant every word of praise I've given here.

100/100