Ode on Age

An ode on the passage of time in life and what it entails...

Like bloodhounds, creeping years do chase
And hunt down fleeing Youth
And Age brings Fancies face to face
With Nature's painful truth
Like barren earth that knows not rain
The ruddy faces wrinkles stain
Like fleeting dreams the brief days pass
The plaintive heart though garners them
And guards them as a priceless gem
Till Grim Death to amass

The robust strength of Youth must wane
The Chaos cease to be
As somber, cold and calm and sane
Old age comes quietly
The Revelries of Existence
Must step aside and leave at once
The passion and the romance must
Make way for dull sobriety
Indiscretion and vanity
Must crumble into dust

Is Age a slave to avarice
For all that's fair it takes?
Is it not Beauty's nemesis?
No, for it only breaks
The ties between fair weather friends
The dry redundant dreams it ends
The continual flow of Time
Age shows us and we hear the Clock
Our wasted lives with pity mock
With its reproachful chime

Trees skyward send their flailing arms
And deeper still their roots
The blossoms shine with thousand charms
But not the ripened fruits
For why should orbs of wisdom old
A superficial beauty hold?
But those who taste the kernel sweet
Are nourished in their heart and soul
And Experience's bare bowl
With lessons is replete

Why then lament that meager loss?
Why not ignore the Past
And on the mind in gold emboss
Forsaken wisdom vast?
Why not embrace Old Age with ease
Dwell not in frozen memories
For life holds more exalted Glee
Oh Keeper of the Golden Gates
The cocooned Mind that calmly waits
Implores to be set free

Reviews

[emmajoy]

This is more than a poem, tis an example of fine traditional writing; has elegance as well as a great use of language. You've expressed your views with both dexterity and a gentle hand, a philosophical meandering within recognised form. 'But those who taste the kernel sweet ~Are nourished in their heart and soul ~ And Experience's bare bowl ~ With lessons is replete'

[Augustus]

Thank you so much Emma! "A philosophical meandering within recognized form" is exactly what I wanted it to be! :)

[emmajoy]

No dumb blonde, me!

[Augustus]

No indeed! :)

[Sam]

your details make a flow in your piece of writing!

[Angi]

This trips beautifully off my tongue. Lovely, lovely work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think we get older faster by worrying about it...we should just ease into it...very elegantly put..love the bloodhound metaphor...

this is really good writing.

jacob

[Augustus]

Thank you Jacob!

[Tomás Ó C..]

Fantastic flowing rhyming verse!!! Adore it!!!

[Augustus]

Thanks!

[asdarkeyesclose]

'Trees skyward send their flailing arms
And deeper still their roots
The blossoms shine with thousand charms
But not the ripened fruits'

yes, freedom, the freedom to write, to become old, gracefully (hopefully) and enjoy our lives. some poets write very naturally in rhyme and are able to turn it into a something more than the parts. i think you are one of the few, i enjoyed this very much indeed. fantastic.

[Augustus]

Thank you very much! :)

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Augustus

My turn to review you.

In turning to this poem, there is immediate recognition.

The writer who commented so eloquently on me shows immense eloquence in his own writing.

No surprise!

Your education is apparent.

There is far too much to say on this poem than I could ever encompass in one of my customarily long reviews.

I shall limit myself therefore to picking up some of its essentials.

Structure, rhyme and iambs: Five stanzas with exactly ten lines each which follow in every single case rigorously the ababccdeed rhyming scheme.

Thomas Gray: "Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College" - again 10 lines per stanza, same rhyming pattern, but with more stanzas.

Keats: "Ode to a Nightingale" - again ten line stanzas, different rhyming pattern, but more stanzas.

This is certainly an Ode with a traditional refined structure.

Iambs? They vary. At times the metre is the same but it fluctuates.

Naturally that may only be the case as I am short sighted. However I am wearing reading glasses as I type.

So any deliberate fluctuation in iambs which fit some fixed structure I cannot see is entirely down to my own ineptitude.

Mind you I do need a new prescription (cough)!

Does it matter?

No. The variations have their own beauty.

Sophistication of language / use of English: For someone known to be verbose in his reviews, let's do brevity for once in your life for God's sake James?

Immaculate!

Imagery: Now I fear if I were to get onto that topic here, I would probably, with the extent of my commentary overload Writers Café server and the site would go down permanently!

There are as with 'language' above just too many exquisite examples to quote.

Content: Age old. 'The seven ages of man' - William Shakespeare.

Well that about wraps it up!

What purpose would it serve for me to wax lyrical on a poem so exquisitely more lyrical than anything I could ever possibly say?

I try never to be effusive in my reviews. Just balanced. Well with all apologies to myself, I can't be otherwise in this case.

Stunned into silence!

More?

When is your first anthology of poetry coming out and can I have an invite please?

With my warmest regards


James Hanna-Magill


PS They don't do one million per cent ratings on here so I have been obliged to apply the tediously banal one hundred!

[Augustus]

Sir James Hanna-Magill: I am speechless. Now I'm not the Queen of England, but that review deserves a knighthood! Not for the praise it contains, but for its sheer scope and insight. And within it, is contained your grace and humility, extolling the virtues of my own little commentary on your poem, when it obviously pales in comparison to this monument of yours. There is indeed so much that an amateur reviewer like me can learn from you.

Your erudition is evident: You mentioned Thomas Gray's "Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College". The present ode was indeed inspired by Grays fine work. The structure employed is identical to his. The rhyme scheme, as you have mentioned is ababccdeed. The metrical scheme consists of iambic tetrameter as well as trimeter and in terms of the number of iambs, goes as 4-3-4-3-4-4-4-4-4-3.
I must admit that at times in my writing, I get the wrong stress on some syllables. I don't know if that led to any confusion, when you read this one.

I feel totally humbled by this review of yours. I cannot thank you enough in words.
Regards
Shreyas

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Augustus

No it is rather you who humble and honour me.

And by the way as to iambs, I told you I needed a new prescription for my glasses (cough)!

With a smile

James

[Pete Langley]

This poem has great appeal for me. The application to sustain a thesis consistently through a chain of cohesive - and attractive - verse is unusual now. Most-times, in this so-called modern era, if poets want to proffer an extended perception, they - including me - resort to a prosaic form. You, Augustus, to your credit, have produced a special piece. Take no notice of the moronic, posturing charlatan. He knows little and says less. P.

[Augustus]

Thank you so much for your kind words! They truly mean a lot to me!

[Trigorin]

Not bad. You have a good concept and you've managed to express it fairly well, but I do think some of your imagery is a little overwrought and forced. The last couple of stanzas, especially, are the biggest culprits. You use some odd language that looks needlessly archaic and, combined with the imagery, make this overall look quite pretentious, which definitely isn't a good thing. I do realize that you're trying to write an ode, but you can do that without taking this sort of tone - it looks very expected at this point.

[Augustus]

Thank you very much for your review. I will keep the flaws that you have pointed out in mind, while writing in the future.

[emmajoy]

What a gracious response, Augustus!

[Coyote Poetry]

Great poetry. Your style took me back to the old writers of the past.
"But those who taste the kernel sweet
Are nourished in their heart and soul
And Experience's bare bowl
With lessons is replete"
Thank you for sharing this amazing poem. A excellent poem.
Coyote