A Farewell

These crumpled petals linger, dry and frail
A brittle souvenir of days long past
Their rosy perfume lost, the odour stale
A memory too afraid to breathe its last

For it was Spring back then, and butterflies
Could serenade the dew on blades of grass
And under Helios' watchful eyes
No semblance of a shadow could trespass

'Twas emptiness for me, despite the bloom
A distant song of chirps, and twittering
No feathered touch, no variegated plume
No love, for it was someone else's Spring

I wish that Rose may never bloom again
Nor should the old clock sound its backward chime
My vessel I have wrecked on rocks of pain
May it be swallowed whole by seas of Time!

And so I give my petals to this breeze
And may it take them swiftly where it must
Some burdens carried long, can only cease
To be; when moments crumble into dust

Reviews

[Augustus]

This is a famous poem to me already ;-) I once remember my sister quoted some of your lines... and she's right, this is a perfect piece of true and beautiful serene poetry my friend... so rich, and filled with gorgeous metaphors, of nature, and the love and pain hidden in between it.
Fantastic writing here... saved....

-Elisa

[Augustus]

Thank you so much Elisa! You made my day!

The pleasure is all mine my friend. I will be back for more of your pieces.

[Adarsh]

To say that this poem is one of the finest I have ever read by anyone wouldn't be overstating it. I was introduced to your poetry by Abdul Aziz a long time back when he had shared the "Bifrost" with me. I loved it. But this was something else entirely. Every line was drenched in perfection which made me feel that all that could have been conveyed was conveyed. A farewell couldn't have been captured in better words than these. And though I tried I failed in expressing the feeling that this poem exudes, and therefore, in giving it an appreciation it deserves because the poem is simply self-explanatory and complete. Perfect. I read it again and again. Looking forward to reading more of your poems.

Regards,
Adarsh

[Augustus]

Thank you so much for the accolades Adarsh! I am especially pleased that this poem made such an impact. I'll reciprocate as soon as I can! Abdul is a good friend and a wonderful poet. We have a lot of mutual admiration and respect.

[Catherine Frain]

Oh this is so sweet, yet holds that sad undertone. It is great in a sense of imagery, while reading through the poem I could see the different lines with crisp accuracy.

[Augustus]

Thank you so much, Katie!

[Rose of many colours]

Hi .This piece sound like some old sailors song.
"Nor should the old clock sounds its backward chime
My vessel I have wrecked on rocks of pain
May it be swallowed whole by the seas of time! 'tis my favourite piece..
Each stanza has its own message ,but all link making it a fine piece of art.God bless

[Augustus]

Thank you very much!

[Rose of many colours]

You are wecome..God bless

[Jason Howard]

It´s captivating, and filled with passion

[Augustus]

Thank you!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This somnolent song aches with memories past. The tonality of it weeps with a finality that never ends.

The format, the rhyme, and meter are all perfection, whose substance leaves an echo in my soul.

Linda Marie

[Augustus]

Thank you so much, Linda!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you for being, that I might linger in your words.

[Augustus]

You do me a great honour. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"For it was Spring back then, and butterflies
Could serenade the dew on blades of grass
And under Helios' watchful eyes
No semblance of a shadow could trespass"
Thank you for the good journey in your words. Each set of lines leading the reader to thoughts and vision. I like the above lines. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Augustus]

Thank you Coyote!

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Absolutely beautiful! Your poetry is marvelous and I'm certain it's on its way to become a well-beloved and timeless classic. Wonderful work!

[Augustus]

Wow! I am honoured. Thank you!

[Gleb Zavlanov]

It was my pleasure.

[Rick Puetter]

Augustus!

Wow, this is beautiful my friend. I have read a few of your poems and all are excellent, but this is as fine a piece as we find on WC, and that is a high mark.

This is getting the highest rating I ever give: 98/100. The mark of 100/100 is impossible since no poem is perfect, and I am still searching for a 99/100. So I rank this as among the top dozen or so poems I have read on WC.

There are many nice passages in this poem. And I agree with Robbie that the last stanza is among the finest, but I rate it number two. To me this is the amazing set of lines:

"I wish that Rose may never bloom again
Nor should the old clock sound its backward chime
My vessel I have wrecked on rocks of pain
May it be swallowed whole by seas of Time!"

as these lines encapsulate how lost is your spirit, how devastated. "I wish that Rose may never bloom again"--what anguish. "My vessel I have wrecked on rocks of pain"--what hopelessness for a solution and recovery. "May it be swallowed whole by seas of Time!"--what abandonment and resignation to disaster.

This is a wonderful piece of writing. I am very glad to have read it.

Kindest regards,

Rick

[Augustus]

Wow! The fact that you rank this one in the top dozen that you've read here is a great honour for me. As is scoring 98/100. I can't thank you enough for your detailed, thoughtful and generous review!

[Rick Puetter]

There were some simply wonderful passages here, Augustus. Your writing is always good, but this was a cut above.

Rick

[joshua deathdealer]

"'Twas emptiness for me, despite the bloom" You are such a talented writer and this poem speaks volume of your craft. Excellent blend with the metaphors, love and goodbyes. Truly.

[Augustus]

Thank you Joshua!

[Ees]

I have had the feeling of farewell lately, on my mind, so reading this poem was a good choice, I do think.
This was a lovely poem of farewell and changing and how times eats away at things. I really enjoyed how you carried the petals throughout the poem, letting them go only in the last stanza.

Well done!

[Augustus]

Thank you for your perceptive review!