The Promise

When I see rain clouds gather in the distance...

In the distance I can see them
Stirring in their sleep
Keeping a deluge at bay with their ashen-faced visage

In the distance I can hear them speak
I strain to fathom their cryptic, guttural words
And yet, they soothe my heart

Calm, deliberate, advancing
Disseminating the silent memories of oceanic splendor
Into the quivering earth

Flashing their flares of transient whiteness
Trees of light branching downwards
Urgent, sporadic messages for the rocks to pass on

And the messages reach me soon
The Earth's moisture flirting with my senses as I decipher the ancient tongue
"We have tasted thirst before, young one, and we shall come"

Reviews

[LawrenceRaybon]

"We have tasted thirst before, young one, and we shall come"

Absolutely beautiful! I usually offer constructive criticism but your work is so pristine in form, function and intent that I am at a loss. I can think of nothing helpful to offer other that to say you should look into submitting to poetry contests and magazines (and then get a book published).

Your work, both this piece and the others you have submitted here are worthy of being published, and frankly, it is a shame they aren't being shared with a wider audience. Let me know when your book of poetry comes out and I shall be the first in line to pick up a copy!

Rating 100/100

Thank you, sir, for setting the bar so high, I shall endeavor to meet your standard!

Cheers,
Lawrence

***Standard Disclaimer: These are my honest opinions and they are absolutely not meant as any kind of attack. I only comment on work that I think is good and only offer advice so that we can all become better writers. You are always free/welcome to heed or disregard my opinions/advice!***

[Augustus]

Wow, Lawrence, I am speechless. I really don't know what to say. I have always been satisfied with the praise and encouragement of my peers and neither wanted nor expected more out of my writing. But if what you say is true, maybe I should take it seriously.

Above all else, I consider myself a student and am still very much on the learning curve. Such well considered reviews as yours certainly keep me going. Can't thank you enough!

[Coyote Poetry]

"Calm, deliberate, advancing
Disseminating the silent memories of oceanic splendor
Into the quivering earth"
I like the description above. This is true peace when you can see the splendor and fall into beauty. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Anahat]

Beautiful...just beautiful...dats how amazin this is! Keep up the good work..
Regards Anahat :)

[Augustus]

Thank you so much, Anahat!

[Anahat]

pleasures all mine :)

[Aethereal]

You have gracefully personified clouds into a goddess of mercy who brings cool crystal blue persuasion to a drought ridden world. She speaks, and she dances through trees of blue light as she cries gifted tears of joy. This is an orderly free verse composition which is of publishing quality. Write some more.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Amazing!...

This one left me breathless... I felt the longing in your words...
as if something magnificent is brewing in the distance...

Sheer perfection!

[Augustus]

Thank you for spending so much time on my verses, Robbie! :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I enjoy reading your work of art, my dear friend! :)

[max_vonnegut]

The Promise! The title fits this poem perfectly. I've read a lot of poems on here about all sorts of stuff, about relationships, depression, sex, all sorts of odd things and I think nobody writes about clouds anymore. I wouldn't mind reading all of those things if only they were as good as this. I've always wanted to write a nature poem, like Whitman, Wordsworth and and all of those guys and this is what I imagine when i think of a poem about nature. Great job man!

[Augustus]

Thank you Max! Glad you enjoyed it! :)

[Lady B]

Love the way you presented this fascinating write.....beautifully indeed!

[Augustus]

Thank you!

[Luna Azul]

This was a great visual. I felt like I could actually hear and see this.

[Augustus]

Thank you!

[Steven]

Great visuals, man.. Has real grit.

"Disseminating the silent memories of oceanic splendor
Into the quivering earth"

What a beautiful way to describe rain... Excellent cohesiveness to the write as well. Nice one.

[Gerald Parker]

The movement of water around the planet is a fascinating story-laden phenomenon. I like the way you have captured this with 'Urgent, sporadic messages.'

[Augustus]

Thank you!

[Gerald Parker]

I'm a miserable git. I don't usually praise. Begrudging.

[Augustus]

In that case, you have done me a great honour :)