14/11/12

Dear God,

I don’t understand why you didn’t let me die.

Family, friends, lovers, teachers, acquaintances �" they look

at my scars when they come to visit me at home after my

discharge, but they seldom understand why I did it. They

only judge.

Everybody is extra careful around me and giving me more

attention and it’s causing me to lose my mind again because

I know none of it is sincere. They’re just scared that I’ll try

to kill myself again and why wouldn’t I? I don’t want to live

in a world where I’m treated kindly only because.

If I don’t want to live, it’s my choice. If choosing how one

wants to live one’s life is acceptable, choosing how one

wants to die should be too. Don’t I have the freedom to get

out if I wish to? Is living the only choice? Should we live

because it’s what someone else wants us to? No.

Damned if we do and damned if we don’t.