27/8/12

Dear God,

We came to visit Grandpa at Tashiding today because

Daddy finally got a break from work, and the minute I

stepped out of the vehicle, my cousins came running

towards me with Pokemon cards in their hands, shouting

“Which Pokemon is the best?!” I haven’t smiled more

genuinely than I did at that moment �" I felt so light, so

happy. But thirty minutes into the house where my aunts

started picking on my appearance, I was back to square 1.

The same old feelings of frustration and the need to be

alone seeped back into my body, and I shut myself in the

guest room, away from the people I called my family, away

from the conversations that I would usually interrupt with

“What’s for dinner? Anything to eat? Where is Namgyal?”

I have never felt lonelier than I do right now. Although my

parents, grandpa, cousins of assorted sizes and ages, aunts,

uncles and maids are bustling about the house, talking and

generally getting lost in merriment, I don’t want to join in

the fun. My presence would only create an atmosphere of

tension and annoyance.

Why is this so hard?