3/5/12

Dear God,

I thought you were always there with me. I called to you a

thousand times every day, every night in the hope that you

would send a sign but you never did. I don’t even know

who I’m praying to anymore.

I let my happiness get taken away by an unknown entity,

but I wasn’t prepared to have Atul taken away too. What

did I do so wrong that he was compelled to find someone

else and walk the goddamn school hallways, where we

would once playfully chase each other? It’s not even the

humiliation that bothers me. It is the fact that people

secretly think I deserve it.

I thought that he’d be there with me till I got hold of

myself, like the way he had promised he would when he

first asked me out. Why didn’t he keep his promise? Why

did he let go? Why can’t I rip my heart out and throw it

away, instead of having to feel this intense ache inside my

chest like something is going to burst?