Alone Alone Again

This is a poem to make a diffrence for mentally and physically abused children. I think we need to be there forr kids who are having a bad home life...dont ignore them and talk to them. Maybe youll not just help them but their whole family. God put us her

Alone Alone Again
 

Think of them, Think of him.               In his bed as he wept,                Alone, Alone again.          Laying there diaper wet,          Till his needs, needs are met. Wondering where, where they are, Worrying how  very far.  wants to be held  in there arms, later in his life  this harms.  Are they at their Friends,  though there out of lends. To give a hand and baby set, Now  left alone, Alone again. One got mad, got mad and left, The other stayed,Stayed and wept. But even then, couldn't take the loneliness.1 So she took off, took off for a bit. Now Hes Alone Alone Again.

 

 

Reviews

[Leah T]

Are the grammar and punctuation purposeful? I wasn't sure from reading it, but it seemed like they might not be. If they are, I would strengthen that so that the reader knows for sure.
This is a very poignant story, I especially like how stark and sad the last two stanzas are. The ambiguity of it works beautifully, too. It makes it sort of universal. However, I was distracted by the rhythm of the poem - it read awkwardly. I think it's just a matter of cutting or adding a few syllables here and there. Also, I didn't understand these lines:

Wundering where they are,
Are they in,in there car.

The kid is wondering where the parents are? The image of the parents in the car isn't as strong or evocative as the last two stanzas, which are so simple but tell such a potently sad story.