Dancing partner

This is a romantic short story having suspense

 

Dancing partner

 

Today is friday night and my friend has invited me for the party at yacht as today is his engagement. They were living in USA for past 5 years working as software engineer, and now they decided to get married so they have thrown a lavish party. Whole place is being decorated with tulips and Orchids. Champagne is flowing. Everybody is drinking, talking and eating food but I am sitting in a corner as I am feeling lonely and sad, it doesn't mean I don't know anybody here , everybody around here are my college friends with whom I have enjoyed a lot that I can never forget. Eating Maggie in canteen at night of study. Celebrating birthday at 12 in night by kicking at bumps. I still remember the kick of banarjee. When it was last day of the college everybody was tearful as the newly married girl who is leaving her father's house. This is a moment of mixed feeling as we are tearful that we are parting our ways and on other hand we are putting our foot forward towards new phase of life where we have to proof our worth.

I know both of the person well as they are my classmates. Their love story is also very strange as in first year they don’t like each other but gradually they fall in love. Love is such a strange bond which ties two strangers together and becomes stronger even then the family bond. People in love are willing to do anything in love and this is the only bond which can span multiple births. This bond is also very flexible as it can be easily broken if people in love let ego come in between of them. Love is strong only if the people in love believe in each other and do not expect anything in return. I am sad that I have failed in this pursuit of love and I have come alone in this party where everybody else is with their partner.

I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that i got started when it was announced that now it’s time to dance. I was reluctant to standup as I have come alone and feeling quite low. It was a mask dance where everybody has to wear a mask so nobody knows about the partner. I was also forced to wear a mask and make to stand with all others. In this we are supposed to make pair with the person who is wearing same mask. The music begins and everybody start looking for partner with same mask. I was silently standing in a corner making no effort at all. I then saw a girl coming towards me wearing the same mask. She was looking pretty in long red dress. I was not able to deny her request as others were looking in our way. We started dancing slowly on music. The smell of her perfume made me remember somebody, who else but my girlfriend. We have broken up on some petty issue and our ego was stopping us to say sorry to each other. She seems to enjoy dancing as her steps match with music. I have to also dance to make pace with her. While dancing with her I again started thinking about my past. We used to enjoy dance a lot, we have even won best dancing couple award.

I came in present when the music stops. I was going to thanks the girl for dancing with me but she was walking towards the terrace. I went after her to terrace and just when I was going to says thanks to her I saw her eyes through the mask. I cannot forget those big blue eyes, undoubtedly she was my girlfriend. I was so thankful to God for giving me one more chance after 2 years, yes it was 2 long years since we were parted. I took her hand in my hand and when I was going to say sorry to her she shut down my mouth with her hand. We both removed our masks there was tears in both of our eyes.

This was the perfect reunion as it was the full moon night and breeze was cool.

 

 

Reviews

The story itself is filled with sentiment, hope and emotion and very much worth telling... I did enjoy it and could hear the music in my mind as they swayed and danced to a new future.
There are some minor corrections needed but that is simply my opinion. In case you are interested here is an example of one:
( Everybody is drinking, talking and eating food but I am sitting in a corner as I am feeling lonely and sad, it doesn't mean I don't know anybody here , everybody around here are my college friends with whom I have enjoyed a lot that I can never forget.)
In this sentence, it is a bit too long. and the words are not smooth... my corrections below.

Everybody is drinking, talking and eating food (yet) I (find myself lonely in the corner with sadness as my partner.) New sentence: I know plenty of people here, most are college friends that shared a major part of my life.

I hope you see the difference and hope you are not offended... As the writer, you know how you want it to read...The choice is yours, if it were my writing I would first read it aloud and the sentences that are too long will poke out as you will find yourself having to stop to breath several times...
I did like the story and the hope it offered these two young friends...

[Tasfia Islam]

Its a great story....probbably, the story of ur life.....And I must say, u r a very lucky man to have such a wonderful story in ur life......

[Cholontic]

There is quite a bit of a language barrier in this piece... I don't wish to hurt your feelings, but it needs quite a bit of technical work. This is not to say that I am great at the technical part of writing...

The story is awesome and I love the romance of it all, but the technical problems (due to the language barrier) hold the flow of the story back with choppy sentences mixed with run on sentences. Please, don't get me wrong, I think you are a great writer. It shows in the descriptions and the way the story moves from scene to scene. The only problem I've found with the changes in scene is that you need to offset the memories somehow so they are not taken as part of the story.

Again, I like the story, but there are a lot of mechanical problems with it.

[Alicia Schroeder]

Very nice story, thank you for sharing :)

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

it a suggestion...you are mixing up past and present tense and work on the grammatical mistakes and your story was plane but nice :)

[C. Rose]

The plot and emotion is beautiful.
Watch out for grammar and spelling. For example "proof" should be "prove".
The format isn't very readable. I copy pasted this into a document and put space in between paragraphs and changed the font before I read it.
At time you do a good job of showing. For example "Champagne is flowing" but other times you rely on telling. For examples "in first year they don't like each other but gradually fell in love"

On the whole a heartwarming and hopeful story that I hope you take the time to fill out with more description.

[Manjari Shukla]

good story

[Prabha Salimath]

Its a very sweet piece Shobit yes it looks like a fairy tale but in half, I feel it as a part of book or story, though it is very well written I say.Very emotional piece let the reader caught in feelings I liked it. Reunion is quiet.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Nice writing. Keep it up...

[Deepika]

That was a fairy tale ending :) Though i encountered few grammatical errors, the piece was worth reading.

[Konigin]

This is incredibly sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved it Shobhit! :) The story was well written and beautiful. I felt that it was a little choppy in some places, but I felt that you may have been struggling with a language barrier...

Wondrous pen friend! :)